AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Finally he walked in, looking like he owned the place and everyone was below him, but his indifference cracked when his eyes found us. He stopped on his track, his eyes moving back and forth between MJ and me. I held my breath as he slowly made his way toward us, his eyes focused on MJ.
“Mike,” I breathed out as he stood next to me. His eyes turned toward the personnel who waited a few feet away from our table. It was the procedure they had, especially since I had a toddler sitting on my lap.
MJ touched my cheek before asking with a whisper, “Daddy?”
“Yes, MJ. He’s your daddy,” I rasped without taking my eyes away from Mike. He swallowed, fisting his hands like he was trying to control himself. I knew this side of him, he was the vulnerable, broken man who made my heart bleed every time he appeared.
Placing MJ to the chair next to mine I stood up and closed the small distance between us, hugging him tight. His arms around me shouldn’t have given me any comfort, but they did. It was like I’d found my anchor in life again. The only problem was this anchor wasn’t chaining me to the ground it was pulling me into the depth of hell without any hope in getting out.
“You have to separate,” the personnel interrupted our moment. After breathing me in, Mike released me.
“Angel,” he choked as he kneeled down in front of MJ’s chair. His eyes were on me with full of questions.
“MJ wanted to see his daddy. Tomorrow it’s his birthday so you are his present,” I whispered, my eyes welled up with tears.
“Hi, little man,” he whispered. I had never seen his face like the way he looked at MJ; his eyes were full of adoration.
“Hi,” MJ smiled, reaching out to touch Mike’s cheek –the scarred one.
“You don’t need to be scared, MJ,” Mike reassured him, but I knew my baby; he wasn’t scared he was just observing Mike like he did everyone.
“I’m not scared,” MJ said, jumping off from his chair to Mike’s arms. Mike’s eyes turned to the personnel for approval, but I reassured him, “I’ve read the guideline. You’re allowed to spend time with him.”
“Can I kiss him?” His voice ripped my heart out. It wasn’t the monster in front of me at that moment it was a man who deserved second chance, but I knew that would never happen; he did terrible things –things that he would never be able to redeem.
I nodded, trying to send back the tears formed in my eyes. Mike lifted MJ to his lap after sitting on his chair. He hugged him tight to his chest, smelling and kissing him; I had never seen him that open, that vulnerable, and that emotional. The lump in my throat was obstructing my air. I didn’t know how long they held onto each other. Finally when Mike’s attention was back on me I smiled sadly at them as MJ placed his head under Mike’s chin like he was getting ready to take a nap.
“How are you, Angel?” Mike asked.
“I’m fine. I missed you… sorry I didn’t come earlier,” I mumbled, feeling nervous to communicate with him in my emotional state.
“I wasn’t expecting you to come. I wanted it, but have never thought you would want to visit me.”
“I don’t hate you, Mike. I loved you.”
“Past tense?” he sadly smiled at me, caressing MJ’s hair as he looked at his daddy like he was the God himself.
I sighed. “It has to be past tense, Mike. We don’t have a future and we were never meant to be… maybe in different circumstances, maybe if we were different people.”
He only nodded. The tense silence filled the distance between us before I could finally find the courage to say what I want or most likely should.
“Mike…” I started, my voice trailed off before I could continue.
“You came here to say goodbye, yeah?”
“The last three years were hard for me, Mike. I didn’t know how to go on, I still don’t, but I have to… for MJ, for myself. I have to leave everything –you, me, us- behind, in the past so I can build a future for myself and my boy,” I said with more confidence than I felt.
“There is someone else,” he said, it was just a statement, but I still nodded my head.
“Who?”
“Does that matter?”
“Does he treat you well? Both of you?” he asked, hugging MJ tighter. My little boy looked like he was about to fall asleep in his arms.
“Yes. He worships both of us. He is a good man, Mike,” I told him, tucking the hair strand behind my ear I added, “I loved you, Mike, but it is time for me to say goodbye to you. This is the first and the last time I’ll ever see you. You left your marks on me and I don’t regret any of them and I don’t hate you for anything you did, but it is time you become a memory from my past… for my boy, for myself…”
I took a deep breath after I finished, trying to not feel sorry for the way his shoulders launched forward.
