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“You’re mine,” he whispered.
“Not anymore.”
His eyes captive mine for a long while before he finally let out a long sigh. “You’re right. But… I loved you, too, Angel. I wish I knew how to be a better man.”
Reaching for his hand I caressed his warm skin on the table. “I wish it, too.”
There was nothing more to say, we both knew this was inevitable.
“You better leave. He shouldn’t stay here any longer. I don’t want him to remember this place,” Mike said, nodding his head toward MJ who was already asleep.
“MJ, baby?” I woke him up.
“Mommy?” He looked confused, but his smile came back when his eyes found Mike. “Not a dream,” he murmured.
“No, little man. It wasn’t a dream. We met, but now you have to leave, forget about me, and live your life, okay? You need to be happy, promise?” Mike asked with the sweetest voice I’d ever heard.
“Okay, Daddy,” MJ said, making the lump more obvious in my throat as he hug Mike with his small arms.
“Goodbye, baby boy,” Mike whispered, his eyes were closed, his face was buried into the crook of MJ’s neck. I hardly had the time to school my emotions when he pulled back.
MJ walked toward me, holding my hand. I let my eyes roam Mike’s body for one last time.
“Goodbye, Mike.”
MJ was silent as we walked away from the building, but he was squeezing my hand. Was it possible for a child to try controlling his emotions?
“Can Mommy carry you to the car, baby boy?” I asked.
“No, Mommy. I’m good.”
I smiled before looking back to the building over my shoulder.
I still loved him.
I still missed him even though I saw his face just seconds ago.
I knew I would never be able to forget him, but I wasn’t planning on it anyway. I didn’t want to forget him; all I wanted was to keep living with all my marks.
When I saw the car and Pax sitting in it I slowed my steps. I wa
s still emotional. Mike was still holding a place in my heart and I didn’t want him to leave. He was my secret I would keep with me as long as I lived. But my happiness, my light, and my clarity was in front of me now, waiting for me like he always did.
Channing Paxton was my future and I was grateful he loved me with all my broken pieces.
“Daddy!” MJ ran toward him. He needed his love more than my affection right now. I wondered what he was thinking after today, after meeting Mike, but he seemed happy as Pax swirled with him in his arms.
Channing Paxton was the good man, maybe even one of the best and I was lucky to have him.
I smiled to my future that was playing in front of me as my past was behind me.
I knew it was a wrong decision…
Mike– October 31, 2018
I watched them walk toward the car waiting outside. A guy got out of the driver seat and I knew him. Channing fucking Paxton… the bartender who wanted what was mine from the beginning.
“Daddy,” MJ shrieked, running toward the fucking Paxton. I swallowed the bile that rose in my throat. My hands turned to fists as I watched the scene in front of me.
