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“Happy birthday, little man.” Xander said and lifted MJ to his arms.
A part of me broke when I saw how MJ looked at Xander. There was clear affection and awe in his face. He had the same look when Alex gave him his present. MJ studied his present with intelligent eyes and smiled at him.
“Uncles,” he said and tried to wrap his arms around both Alex and Xander.
Me?
I was watching them from a far.
“Mommy?” MJ called out for me. His voice was so mature for a boy at that age. I haven’t been a good mother to him, but he didn’t give up on me with his little heart. I smiled at him, but my mind wasn’t proper enough. After two years of professional help I wasn’t on the right track, yet. I didn’t even know if I’d ever be normal again.
“I’m coming, baby boy. I’ll just bring the knife to slice your cake, okay?” I said and he nodded his head. I felt Dawn’s eyes on me and reassured her with a smile.
She knew I sometimes needed the time alone. I was glad she didn’t push too far.
I walked into the house back and frowned when I heard the voices from television. Dawn must have forgotten it on.
I walked to the voice and stopped dead in my place.
Today, Michael Harrison was found stabbed in his prison cell and pronounced dead while being transported to the hospital. The victim’s brother, William Harrison, a current prison inmate, has been arrested for the alleged murder.
It was three years ago when the Harrison brothers were convicted with life sentences for multiple counts of rape, murder, kidnapping, drug trafficking and obstruction of justice...
I couldn’t look away from the TV screen. I felt like my body was surrounded with ice. My skin prickled and the ground spun under me. I put my hand to the wall for support.
No one knew what I’d been through. No one understood my feelings.
Everyone thought I was about to be cured. But I wasn’t…I was beyond the limit to be cured.
I missed his face every second of everyday…
I was in love with my nightmare and even though I knew it was wrong I couldn’t help myself.
After two years of professional help, I couldn’t erase his marks from my body or from my soul. This was sick…my feelings for him weren’t normal. I should hate him. I should have been happy that he was dead but here I was…crying over my kidnapper, my rapist…and the dad of my baby boy.
I killed him. We shouldn’t have visited him. I knew that was a bad decision yet again I did another mistake. Now he was truly gone from my life, my world. He was gone.
Yesterday’s clarity was blurred with this news. Every emotion I worked so hard to control came back to the surface; I was drowning in the darkness again.
Till the door opened and Pax rushed inside.
“Angel, I’m sorry I’m late. Fuck, the traffic-” he stopped mid-sentence when he saw me. “Baby?” He came to me, wrapping me in his arms.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered to my hair, but I didn’t need to reply when the news replayed on the TV.
Hugging me tighter he caressed my back and placed kisses to my temple. “Shh, it’s okay to cry. You’re okay, you’ll be okay,” he murmured till my sobs stopped.
“I killed him. We shouldn’t have gone to visit him,” I choked.
“You didn’t kill him, you gave him the best present a man could get; you showed him his son, Angel.”
“And he is gone, now.”
“Don’t you think it is better than to spend your whole life in a cell? Maybe he can finally find the peace he despera
tely needed?” he told me, wiping away the tears from my cheeks. I looked at him suspiciously, why was he talking about him like he cared him?
“You hate him,” I accused.
