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Linking his fingers together, he tells me to step on his hands. I worry I’ll hurt him, but I don’t say anything not to be caught by my mom. Balancing myself on his shoulders, I step on his hands.
“You’re the first girl I slept with, Nikki,” he says with a voice that feels like he’s joking.
I look into his eyes. We are so close, and it feels strange. Not knowing what to do, I smile. “You’re the first boy I slept with, Nick,” I say, sitting on the window sill. I wave at him when I get inside. Closing the window, I get inside my bed with a smile on my face.
Nick is so cute…
Chapter 11
Present
I study the envelope in my hand, turning and holding it toward the light like I can see what’s inside. I don’t have the courage to open it.
Once upon a time, I was too bright for you. Now I’m just as dark.
His words echo in my mind and send a shiver through my spine. What could he have done to become just as dark? And what does that mean for me? The words sound like a threat, but I don’t know what he’s threatening me with.
I look at the envelope again, as if I’m expecting it to explode like a grenade.
Leaning back on my bed, I try to study his posture in my mind. I can still see him clear as day when I close my eyes. He looked mysterious and dangerous.
And hot, I hear the whisper in the back of my mind. The observation is as ridiculous as it’s true.
It’s been twenty years since I last saw him. Twenty years without a word from him, yet now he shows up like he’s never gone, like he’s always been here.
He awakes so many emotions in me just by showing up.
I’m curious about all the whys, all the unknowns of his appearance in my life.
I’m excited and happy because he’s the only person I remember with happiness even though it blends with heartache.
I’m hurt by the memory of the last time I saw him, and I’m angry that he broke his promises, the one he said he’d never leave me.
With a sad smile on my face, I get out of the bed to open the drawer that keeps my diary. I just know the memory of his promise is written in it to taunt me.
Dear Diary,
I have nothing and no one but you and the memories that haunt me. I’m already at my lowest as I sit on the cold floor of this prison cell with you in my hands, so I decided to write only the good memories. No matter how hard it’ll be to remember him and how happy he made me feel. I need these memories to give me strength. It’s either this or losing my mind, and I’ve already lost everything, I can’t lose my sanity, too.
Here, let’s start with on
e of the happiest memories I have. Are you ready, Diary? You’ll love this. And you’ll love him, just like I do.
A clicking noise gets my attention, I get out of the bed. Opening the window, I look outside. There’s a note on the window sill.
*I missed you. I’m waiting. N xx*
A huge smile hurts my cheek. After looking back at the hallway, I open the window wider and throw my leg to go out. Warm hands grip my waist, and I feel a tickling sensation in my spine when my body slides on his.
Turning in his arms, I hug him. He kisses me on my cheek, and as always, I feel my face burn up.
“My dad took us to an ice-cream shop today,” he says.
“Sounds nice,” I murmur, a part of me breaks that I have never gone to eat ice-cream. I’ve never eaten an ice-cream.
“No, it wasn’t. I missed you all day. There’s no way I’d eat it without you. I wish you can sneak out long enough so we can go there together.”
I smile at him. Even with his family, even in a place all kids love, he thinks of me.
