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Chapter 13
Present
I couldn’t sleep.
All night his words ran through my mind, and I just watched the ceiling as I try to make sense of his words but failed miserably.
What did he mean by saying that he lost his freedom?
Why did he give me this letter?
Why did he show up in the first place?
There’s no answer to these questions.
Frustrated, I get out of the bed. The sun is slowly rising over the horizon. After enjoying the color, it casts the world with, I head for the shower. As the warm water pours over me I push the thoughts away.
Nick hasn’t been in my life for years, twenty years in fact, and I won’t let him confuse me or take me back to the time I want to leave behind.
Who the hell is he anyway?
Who the fuck does he think he is by showing up out of the blue?
When I’m out of the shower all thoughts about him and his letter are left behind me. He wasn’t there when I needed him the most, and now, just when I don’t need him at all, I won’t accept him in my life.
Putting on my clothes and getting my purse, I leave my home. I walk on the street, pulling my coat tighter around me since it’s still chilly with the morning air. The fresh coffee scent permeates my senses from my favorite coffee shop. I don’t resist the temptation and treat myself with a large cup of coffee and a donut.
After observing the early risers who jog around the street while I have my breakfast, I start to walk to the club. Unlocking the doors of the club, I head to my office. I keep track of the stock in here, it’s easy to work and makes me feel like I’m doing something fruitful instead of sitting on my ass all day.
Daily stock check and necessary phone talks to our supplier's busy me all morning, but when they’re done my mind slips back to Nick and his letter. Questions start to swirl inside my mind, and I shake them off again. I don’t know what his purpose was to give me that letter or showing up in my life, but I trust if he has a purpose he’ll probably let me know it whether I want to know or not.
I get on the stage. It’s the only distraction and strength I need since my thoughts refuse to leave him.
When the music starts to beat, I let it penetrate my soul. I lose time and place, forget questions and answers. By the time I stop, I’m high again… for another day, like a daily fix for a drug addict. I’m ready to dance with my demons again.
“I used to wonder why you wanted to dance after we become manager of this new club,” I hear Harley say and turn to face her.
“So, you don’t wonder now?”
“No. I understand now. Dancing is your salvation,” she murmurs.
She’s right, but I don’t admit it to her. “Isn’t that a little bit too deep for morning chat?”
She laughs. “You’re right. Last night I fucked a philosophy student, I think he forgot something in me. I hope it’s not a baby.”
I fake a laugh and sigh in relief when Salem comes in. She’ll chat enough for three of us.
***
At night, after my show finished, Harley comes into my room, looking kind of nervous.
“What’s wrong?”
“Someone’s in my office, and he wants you to join him, in the VIP room,” she says slowly and continues to panic when I frown, “I know you don’t give lap dances, but he’s kind of persistent.”
I grit my teeth. “In your office you said?”
She nods, and I stroll to her room. I think I knew who to expect when I open Harley’s office door. And here he is, Nick from my past. He’s sitting on the chair like a black knight.
