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It’s the same envelope. The first one is already in the drawer.
I shudder.
He’s been here, in my bedroom, when I was in the most vulnerable state a person can be in, sleeping.
What the hell does he want from me?
Why does he give me letters but no explanation?
He was a friend back in time, even more than a friend. But now? Is he a friend or an enemy to me?
I stand up to grab the letter, hesitating before ripping the envelope apart.
Dear Nikki,
I haven’t sent you the first letter, because I don’t even know where you are. I don’t know why I’m writing you another letter that won’t reach you. I think I’m still hoping you’ll show up, but you won’t, will you?
Why Nikki?
Why don’t you come to see me?
Do you know my secret?
Do you hate me that much even though I’ve done everything in my power to fix what happened to you?
Doesn’t it mean anything to you that I sacrificed my freedom for you? To clear your name and to show that you’re innocent?
Yes, Nikki. I did it for you.
I’ve shot the Sheriff in his leg and made him confess what he’s done to you. I didn’t kill him, though. I know he deserved it and so much more for everything you’ve gone through, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be the one who killed him. I’m sorry for that.
I hope you can understand one day.
And I hope you forgive me…
Nick.
What?
This is the only word I can muster after what I read.
What secret is he talking about?
Did he really shoot the Sheriff? For me?
I’ve never heard anything about that, but I think it’s not a shock. I’ve been focused on getting my life together for years after I got out of jail. Everything was so fresh, and I wanted to leave all those memories behind me until I could find a place to work and stay. Only after that did I start to wear my pain and loneliness like a cloak around me. But was I really lonely then? When someone goes to jail for me, to clear my name, and to give those monsters what they deserved, would it make me lonely? I wish I knew. I wish I knew what he sacrificed for me.
For years I’ve carried the loss of a friend and first love in my heart. For years, I’ve thought he was too disgusted with me to even see me, and I’ve convinced myself that he’d forgotten me and moved on with his life. All the while when he was suffering behind bars.
This is truly unexpected and shocking information, I don’t know what to think or how to feel about it. My emotions are all over the place. My mind is a mess. But I know one thing, and that is how grateful I am for what he’s done.
I owe my freedom to him, and I’m the one who to blame for his imprisonment.
Chapter 18
Past
Age 13
