Page 19 of Beautiful Inferno


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Her lips parted like she was about to say something, but the coldness in her eyes returned as she sat on the countertop and outstretched her wrist to me. Opening her gauze, I applied the red liquid the nurse gave me to coat her wrist with. I didn’t know if it hurt, but her mask didn’t slip off, she didn’t try to escape from my touch or showed any kind of emotion.

After I bandaged her wrists again, I sighed. “Do you hate me that much that you won’t give me anything? Even your anger?” My voice wasn’t above a whisper. She had the power no one had ever had over me, the only woman, the only person who could bring me to my knees and make me self-conscious about myself.

She got down to her feet, murmuring a thank you like I hadn’t asked her a question or gave her my heart to shatter. I stayed there as she left the bathroom without a second glance.

CHAPTER 15

MAYA

My fingers carelessly caressed the bandage on my wrist as I stared blankly at the wall. A knock on the door interrupted my productive moment. The door opened, and Zeke came inside, carrying a tray full of food. The delicious smell filled the room, and even though I was hungry, I didn’t have an appetite to eat a thing.

My emotions were chaotic under the blanket of numbness. I was disturbed, almost haunted by the memories of our pasts; the time I cherished and felt the happiest. I was also excited by being close to him, seeing him after years. I felt a longing to hear him talk, laugh. I craved to touch him, hug him, kiss him, even though it was wrong, forbidden. I was angry… at him for leaving me, at myself for being weak to let him leave me, for having sick desires about him that he had every right to be disgusted with me. And above all, I was hurt. Hurt because of the time we wasted apart, hurt because he was unaffected by my absence in his life while I was constantly reminded of him in my hole of a house. I was hurt because he looked like a God himself in front of me, strong and collected as I felt like mud on his shoes, dirt, trash that waiting to be discarded.

All these emotions turned my skin inside out, even the numb coating didn’t hide them. Like the princess and the pea, I could feel them under every layer I put on the pile. I snort with the description my mind brings out. There was no princess in here, only a prince; a prince who had it all, a prince who didn’t give a fuck about the little girl with a sick mind.

“You need to eat,” he interrupted my self-shaming.

I pushed the tray away from me. “I’m not hungry.”

I saw him crossing his arms over his chest. I couldn’t help but let my eyes drink him. His arms were muscular, veins sticking out on them. His chest was broad and strong, the chest I always dreamed of snuggling at night. As he stood beside me, I hoped for him to leave, so I didn’t have to worry about doing something ridiculous, something I promised myself not to do when I saw him, something like jumping into his arms and kissing him with the longing and anger inside of me.

He sighed as he waited for me to eat.

“I’m not hungry, I’m tired, and I’m gonna sleep. Leave… please,” I murmured, hoping he would leave me alone, but instead he leveled me with a cold and authoritative stare and with a strong, demanding, and husky voice he ordered, “Eat, Maya.”

Before I could protest, my hand was already reaching for the toast he made. Like his voice was some kind of magic that turned me into a puppet. Gritting my teeth, I cursed myself for being so weak around him and focused on the toast in my hand. The crusts of the bread as cut off, just the way I liked, just the way he used to make it for me.

He didn’t forget.

I wondered what else he’d remembered about me, about us. I wondered if he’d ever felt something for me like the way I burned with need and love for him, even before I knew what the meaning of love really was.

“Good girl,” he murmured, and the chaos inside me stopped for a second.

He was a sorcerer like he needed any extra power over me.

I ate in silence as Zeke watched me. It would be so much easier if he just left me alone in the room… in my mind, and in my heart.

I pushed the tray when I was done and continued staring at the blank wall.

“I’m not going to work today. Do you want to do anything?” Zeke asked.

“Yes, sleep,” I snapped at

him. The irritation of not knowing what he was doing for a living was too much to ask.

“Maya.” His voice was full of warning, but I ignored it, my focus was on how much of a stranger we became. Did I even know anything about the man in front of me?

“Will you keep acting like a brat?” he hissed.

My eyes shot to his with anger and shock. How dare he could talk to me like that? He left me alone. He left me alone in a craziness I didn’t know how to deal without a second glance, without a phone call, a text, without a fucking visit, anything. And suddenly he came back into my life, demanding my attention?!

“Leave. Me. Alone,” I gritted out. I was so close to losing it. The hurt and anger I sported were too much I didn’t know how much longer I could keep myself in check before lashing onto him.

He sat on the bed, so close to me that our knees were touching. He wasn’t aware of the storm that ran inside me.

“No,” he said with certainty.

“Go to hell,” I snapped.

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