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“Belle?”
I squealed, my heart racing even more than it already was. Ford’s voice was close, almost as if he hadn’t moved since he closed the door. “You okay?”
“I…yeah, I’m fine,” I croaked out.
I heard a huff, and then the squeak of my door handle, and I felt him step into my room. “No, you’re not.” His voice had my heart rate slowing, and I hated how much I needed him at that moment, but I wouldn’t lie to myself.
“I’m just…” I turned to face him, hoping he could tell what I was thinking so I didn’t have to voice it, and from the way he stared down at me, I knew he could see it.
“Want me to sleep on the floor in here?”
I clutched my hands in front of me and whispered, “Yes, please.”
He nodded, almost as if he was telling himself something. “Okay.” He placed his laptop and cell on my bedside table and then walked out of the room, but he was back seconds later with his pillow and blanket.
“I’m being stupid,” I whispered, wishing I could be the strong woman my mom had brought me up to be. “The alarm is on and—”
“No.” Ford placed his hands on my shoulders, and I shivered from the contact. “You’re not being stupid. It’s normal to feel what you’re feeling right now. Don’t try and push it down and pretend it’s not there. The Belle I knew—the Belle I’ve gotten to know over the last month—wouldn’t do that. She’d feel every single emotion and not give two shits about it.” His lips quirked. “Now, get into bed. We have a day full of classes tomorrow.”
I pulled in a breath and tried to center myself. “Okay.”
His hands slid off my shoulders, and I wished he didn’t have to stop touching me. At least when his skin was connected with mine, I was grounded. But now I just felt like I was floating on the wind like a lone balloon.
Ford made his pallet on the floor near the door as I slid back into my bed and pulled the covers up to my chin. There was nothing between me and the window, and I couldn’t stop staring at it, not even when Ford turned out the lights. My gaze refused to move off the window, just in case someone was still out there. What if they came back? What if they were just waiting for me to be asleep again, and then they’d try a second time.
A tear fell from my eye, and it was closely followed by another one. I didn’t know what had caused it, maybe my body needed relief from what had happened, but I couldn’t hold them in, and the lump in my throat became so big, I couldn’t swallow past it.
I was so inside my own head that I didn’t hear Ford moving around the room until he was crouched beside me between the bed and the window. “Sweetheart,” he whispered, and that one word said so much more than just its syllables. “No one can get to you now.”
“I know,” I choked out, not looking away from the window. “But…I just…” I ripped my gaze away from the pane of glass and stared right into Ford’s eyes. He was so close I could feel each of his breaths on my face. “I’m just…I can’t stop looking.”
Ford was silent for several seconds, his attention not moving off me, and then he said, “Move over.” I didn’t hesitate to do as he said, and as soon as I was on the other side of my bed, he moved in next to me. He lay on his back and turned his head to face me. “Better?”
I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, so instead, I just nodded and closed my eyes. Even if I couldn’t fall asleep, I’d at least try to. I counted his breaths and kept as still as I could with the space separating us.
Chapter Nine
FORD
It didn’t matter how many times I told myself to pull away from Belle, I always found myself getting closer and closer. The bond we had was unbreakable. And after last night, all I wanted was to hold her as tight as I could and protect her from the evil that was trying to get her.
Belle was pure. As pure as they came. At least, she was in my eyes. She didn’t deserve to be part of this fucked-up world, but she was. She was born into it the day Lola had given birth. It was only now it was finally finding her, and I knew it was partly my fault. If I hadn’t had a reaction when Garza had mentioned Belle, we wouldn’t be in this position. She’d be safe here, and I’d probably still be undercover.
The dark sky started to lighten, and I looked at the time on my cell. 3:45 a.m. My movement caused Belle to shuffle closer, and I swallowed as her hand landed on my bare chest. I hadn’t thought about the fact that I was in bed with her, not until that very moment. All I’d been concerned about was making her feel safe, but now…now I was only too aware of how close we were, and the fact she was asleep, and I couldn’t stop staring at her.
Her small button nose led down to her parted lips, and each of her exhales made a small noise that I was becoming slowly obsessed with. But it was the way her lashes rested against her cheeks that had me enthralled. Her light-brown hair fanned around her and rested on her shoulder, where the strap of her tank top had fallen down.
I didn’t know what possessed me to reach out and right the strap, but as soon as my fingertips touched her soft skin, her eyes slowly opened. The blue of her irises was so much brighter as she stared at me, and there was a life behind them that I craved to be part of. There may have been twenty-two years between us, but at that moment, all that separated us was the space in the bed that I craved to evaporate.
Neither of us said a word as I righted her strap and then trailed my finger across her collarbone and up her neck, landing on her lips. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about them since I’d first touched them, and it was time I was honest.
“I lied,” I croaked out, trying to keep my voice low. I stared at her lips for a beat and then flicked my gaze up to her eyes. I could see the question showcased in them, but I didn’t give her the chance to ask it as I said, “It wasn’t a mistake.”
Her tongue swiped over her lips, and then she whispered, “What wasn’t a mistake?”
My palm flattened on the side of her face, and the tips of my long fingers pushed into her hair. “The kiss.” I turned my body so I was closer to her, and she answered me by shuffling toward me.
“But you said—”
