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Taking a step away from me, he swipes his hand through his hair and down his face, staring at me for a beat as he tilts his head to the side.
“I…” He stops what he’s saying, inhaling deeply. “I’m glad you brought the kids today.” His throat bobs on a swallow. “I’m glad you came.”
I want to tell him I’m glad too, I never want to leave. I feel safe here: protected. My heart is running ahead of my brain, screaming at me to tell him, but my brain is being the logical one, demanding I keep my mouth shut.
The problem is as soon as my brain comes into the equation, it reminds me of everything happening outside of his house. Prompting me to recall the reason we came here in the first place: the latest package.
It’s one thing receiving them, but to know someone has been in your personal space has the safe sanctuary of your home destroyed.
I try my hardest to shake my thoughts from my head and concentrate on him, but now they’re there, I can’t move them. For several hours I forgot about it all, but now it’s an impossible task.
Blowing out a breath, I lean against the counter, pulling my lips up into a fake smile as I make my gaze meet his.
?
??Me too.”
Fake it until you make it, right?
After Amelia and the kids left yesterday, I couldn’t help missing her. Sneaking around could be fun, but I don’t want to hide her. I want to shout out to the world that this beautiful woman has taken notice of me and thinks I’m a complete and utter goofball, yet still wants to be with me anyway.
That had me thinking as I was sitting on my patio—alone—maybe if Tris and I mended our friendship then maybe Amelia wouldn’t mind us telling him we want to be together?
So I pulled out my cell and messaged Tris, asking if he wanted to grab a drink. It was time I did since he hadn’t contacted me since I set him and Harmony up on a lunch date, so to speak. He didn’t message back for a few hours but when he did, he said he was busy.
He had every right to be pissed but it had been almost two weeks since I set him up with Harmony, so I messaged back telling him he was being an asshole. I don’t sugarcoat things when they need to be said.
He didn’t reply until half an hour ago when I received a message asking if I was free. I thought I was seeing things, but here I am at Gillies, sitting in one of the booths to give us a little more privacy, waiting to see if he’ll actually turn up or stand me up like I’m expecting him to.
I watch the door, my eyes widening as he walks in, scanning the room for me. I wave and he smiles—smiles?
He slides into the booth, taking the beer bottle I offer him. “Thanks.”
“What’s gotten into you?” I ask him, awestruck.
He shrugs, his lips lifting up even higher. “Life’s good.” He looks me in the eyes, the gray darkening as his chest heaves on a breath. “But I’ve been an asshole lately, Nate.” He grabs the back of his neck. “I was so mad at you for setting me and Harmony up at the restaurant.” He shakes his head. “But it just so happened to be one of the best things to happen to me in a long time.”
My mouth opens and closes like a fish for a few seconds as I collect myself, not believing everything he’s saying. “So I got it right for once?”
He nods, sitting back in the booth and relaxing, his fingers peeling away the label on the bottle. “We actually went out on a date last night.”
“And?”
He grins. “I can’t believe how much she’s not changed: she’s still her. You obviously know she’s been through a divorce with her douchey husband, but she’s not let it change her.” He pauses and I wait, listening as he stares down at his hands around the beer bottle. “It’s great; everything is going perfectly, but… I’m terrified.”
“Understandable.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “It’s stupid yet I can’t help it. It’s like my brain is taking forever to catch up to every other part of my body.” His chest lifts on a deep breath. “It’s still screaming for me to run before something bad happens.”
I don’t know what to make of Tris’s sudden emotion sharing, he’s never done this with me apart from the day of Natalia’s funeral.
The coffin containing Natalia, my cousin and my best friend’s wife, is lowered into the ground. A sob escapes my mom’s mouth but she covers it up with a Kleenex as my dad throws an arm around her shoulder and pulls her into him.
I try to gulp past the giant lump in my throat as tears fill my eyes. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry today, I wanted to be strong for Tris but it feels like my insides are being torn out. Natalia wasn’t only my cousin, she was one of my best friends, we’ve been close ever since we were toddlers. My aunt Harrietta gave birth just two months after my mom so we grew up together, but look at where we are now. I’m at Natalia’s funeral and where are her mom and dad? Not here, that’s for sure.
Life isn’t fucking fair, she was only twenty-six years old.
My gaze falls on the tiny bundle lying in Tris’s arms, soundly asleep. She has no idea she’ll grow up without a mom, but the three-year-old clinging to his leg does. He only had her around for the three short years he’s been alive, but she was the best mom. He’ll remember her, for now, and miss her when she’s not around even if he’s not quite grasped onto what’s happened yet. I know because he keeps asking when his mommy is getting back from heaven and it breaks my heart each and every time we have to tell him she’s not.
