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“Not what I was thinking, but I’ll go with it.” J.P. continued forward to the automatic door at the end of our living room. “Just text me when you’re ready.”
Soft music played from corner-mounted speakers. In the middle of the car two poles gleamed in stainless steel.
Cole ran his hand up and down one of them. “Do you think these are for stripping?”
I shook my head. “No, they’re probably for holding onto around sharp turns.”
Cole grabbed hold and tugged himself up one of them. “They could be stripper poles.”
“Cole!” I shouted. “I need you to be serious for a second.”
He placed his feet back on the floor. “What is it, Karabear?”
“What in the hell are you thinking flirting with J.P.?”
He reached out to twirl a bit of my hair with his finger. “Karabear, are you jealous?” Then he took the tip and painted my cheek with it until I giggled.
I slapped his hand away, “Oh my God, are you high?”
“I may have had one of those magic muffins our favorite dispensary sent to our hotel this morning.”
“What am I going to do with you?” I said, exasperated with him. “You can’t be high. We’re supposed to be working.”
“Well, it’s supposed to be all sunshine and bunnies between us, right? I think I needed a little help to pull it off today.”
I put my hand on his cheek. “Why? Because I’ve decided to look into invitro? You’ve made it perfectly clear you don’t want to make a baby with me.”
“I don’t want to make a baby like this,” Cole said.
“Like what? Like two best friends who would be the most awesome parents in the world?”
Cole threw his head back, shaking it. “You’re unbelievable. I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”
His words cut me to the bone. “What are you saying?” I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. I couldn’t lose him. “We can put it off. I’m open to discussing the timing.”
“Oh, Kara. You really deserve more than this.” He cupped his hand against my cheek and his cool blue gaze felt like it was tracking my every thought. For a moment, it seemed like he would kiss me, just draw me in and press his mouth to mine for the very first time. He didn’t. Of course, he didn’t, and it wasn’t the first time my own stupid fantasies got the better of me.
He pulled me into a hug instead, and it was almost as good. It would have to be enough. “I love you, Cole. You’re all I need.”
“I love you, too, Karabear, but it’s killing me slowly to see you longing for a baby I’m not ready for. I would give you anything, but what you really want is the one thing you don’t want from me.”
“What’s that?”
“Your happily ever after. And don’t deny it.”
“Happily ever after is a myth I swore not to be stupid enough to fall for again,” I said, weary of this argument.
He sighed. “I think I need some air to clear my head. Just give me a few minutes alone outside before we get started. Don’t worry, I’ll be ready for the camera.”
Somehow today, thanking him for his effort just sounded off to me too.
