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28
Hunter is waiting for us when we arrive back. He swoops in and takes over, ushering Griff inside and getting him settled like a super cute mother hen before driving me back to Willow Creek, where I fill him in on everything we learned today.
“Fuck, that’s a lot of shit you just unpacked there.”
“I know, and I’m sorry to dump it all on you and run, but I have to finish this.”
“I don’t like you having to deal with all this on your own, Dulce.”
I turn to look at him and smile. It’s small but genuine. I didn’t realize how much the last twenty-four hours had been weighing on me.
“I’ll be okay, Hunter. This is what I do.”
“No, Dulce, what you do is catch bad guys, but you keep your distance. This time it was different, and you know it. You didn’t just let me and Griff in. You let others in too. I know we haven’t talked about it much because you’re trying not to drown us in the crap, but I don’t think you can walk away from this without a few scars.”
I turn to look out the window and bite the inside of my cheek.
While I’ve had something else to focus on, I’ve been able to push everything else aside and deal with the problems right in front of me. As I head back, the black hole in my stomach begins to open until I feel like I’m going to be swallowed alive.
Everything is a mess. I broke so many rules, and this is the penance I must pay. Rules are there for a reason: to protect not just my body but also my heart. What once felt strong now feels shattered.
“Dulce?”
Hunter’s hand slides over my thigh, so I turn to look at him once more.
“Talk to me. I might not be able to help with the rest of it, but I’m a good listener.”
I swallow, willing the tears to stay at bay.
“Is it Aslanov?” he asks tentatively.
I nod. There is no point denying it.
“He got under my skin. It’s my own fault. I came into this knowing he could be my target, but somewhere along the way, everything blurred. It’s stupid and reckless, and if Sugar knew, she’d kick my ass.”
“The heart wants what it wants. Look at Griff. He’s fucking gay. Has been forever, despite him being in the closet. There were never any gray areas or confusion. For him, it’s always been about dick, even when he hated himself for it.”
I look at him as he continues.
“Then you come along and flip the script, and now I have no fucking clue what happened. He’s still gay. He has zero interest in any other woman or girl out there, but you? Fuck, you only have to breathe in his direction and he’s hard.
“Me, I’m bi, so I get being attracted to both sexes, but it’s not like that for Griff. He likes guys and he likes you. That’s it. I’m not sure what that makes him. They sure as fuck didn’t cover this in sex ed.”
Shaking my head, I reach for his hand that’s still resting on my thigh and link our fingers together.
“It makes him mine. Ours.”
“I guess that means you’re special.” He turns and winks at me quickly before looking back at the road.
“No, Hunter, it makes me lucky,” I whisper.
He swallows and squeezes my hand tighter.
“My point is, Dulce, the heart wants what it wants. Don’t beat yourself up for it.”
“How can I not? I fell in love with a monster.” And this time, I can’t stop the tears from falling.
“You love him?”
“I didn’t mean to. It just happened somewhere between being bent over his desk and, well, getting bent over his desk.”
Hunter snorts, and I laugh through my tears.
“I’m sorry, Dulce. You know you have Griff and me at your back.”
“I know I do. It just…”
“Hurts,” he finishes for me.
“Yeah.”
“Maybe you should call in one of the others to bring him down. Nobody would think less of you for it.”
They would come. After reading me the riot act, that is, but they would come and sweep up the pieces of my shattered heart. But I have to do this myself. Just like with Griff facing his father, I need closure.
“I’ll be fine. It will hurt, but I’m not afraid of the pain. I’ll gladly take it if it means no other girls are taken.”
“You’re a good woman, Dulce.”
“You think? I gotta be honest. Most of the time, I feel like I’m just winging it.”
He chuckles. “That’s life. We’re all just winging it in one way or another.”
I look out the window as the familiar drive appears before us.
