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Some of the pain in my heart eases a little at his offer. My best friend got herself one of the good ones. I’ve navigated my entire adult life by myself, but knowing men like Law exist makes it hard to pretend I’m fine all alone.
If I were honest with myself, I’d admit I want one of the good ones too.
“This is good enough, Law. I let my worry get away from me. I needed a human distraction. The pamphlets about chlamydia aren’t cutting it,” I deadpan.
“I don’t know how good I am at distracting, but my ear is always open.”
“Do you think I’m doing the right thing?” I blurt out and bite my first knuckle as soon as the words are out.
A long pause follows.
“In what way? Keeping your baby?”
“Oh, no, not that. I’m solid on that decision.”
“Good because you’ll be a shit good mom, and I didn’t want to get into that with you.”
“Law…” I blink back tears.
“For real, Kiersten, and I’ll only say this once because I’m not a sappy guy, but you practically raised Evelyn with Cami when she was doing this mom thing all alone. I’ve heard the stories. There’s a reason you get away with being Aunt K with zero blood relation, so there’s not even a question that you’ve got this. So now I need you to tell me what you’re questioning so I can get the doubt out of your head before it festers.”
The paper pillow crinkles behind my head as I shift back and stare at the white tiled ceiling.
“Normally, you’d be the last person I’d say this to, but you were unfortunate enough to answer the phone, so I guess we’ll see how good your advice gets. I’m wondering if I’m doing the right thing with Nathan. Should we be trying to make this work right now before the baby comes?”
“You’re right about the unfortunate part.” He sighs through the line, and I can hear him moving around his house, antsy to end this conversation. “That besides, he’s not there. I’m guessing you wouldn’t be asking this question if he’d been pushing for a relationship. All points considered, you’re doing the right thing at this time.”
“Then why does it feel wrong?”
“Does it feel wrong, or does it feel hard?”
A light bulb dings in my head. I’m feeling weak and afraid and having a moment. Nothing more complicated than that.
He continues. “If you keep on the course you set yourself on, you’re going to end up where you want to be. Whether that includes something more for you and him, only time will tell. Even if it doesn’t, the two of you are friends. This won’t be the fallout after a failed relationship. You’re solid. Stick to your foundation, and the two of you will rock this co-parenting thing.”
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The relief reflects on the heart monitor attached to me. “Thank you, Law.”
“Hey, anytime. And if you need me to tell him to pull his head out of his goddamn ass, I’d be happy to do it, but I think you’ve got a handle on things just fine.”
I pull the phone away from my ear and check the time. The doctor should be in any minute. “You’re right. I do have this. I’m going to let you go now, but Law?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you again.”
His voice reveals his smile. “Bye, Kiersten.”
“Bye.”
I tap my screen to end the call. My neck relaxes against the papery pillow behind my head. After a few deep, focused breaths, the fear and tension ease. Everything is going to work out exactly as it’s supposed to. That’s my mantra from now on.
A knock on the door interrupts my thoughts, and I turn my head in that direction as it creaks open. Dr. Fischer smiles kindly as she comes inside.
“How are you doing? Hanging in there?”
A thin smile stretches my lips. “A little nervous.”
