AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m getting up,” I grouse through a yawn.
“No. Stay.”
I shoot my gaze down to Kiersten’s face at the sound of her raspy voice and see her shiny blue eyes blinking sleepily up at me. My heart thunders behind my ribs at her sweet smile directed at me.
“Morning, sleepyhead. How’re you feeling?”
“Like I shot a watermelon out of my hoo-ha,” she deadpans, and the nurse beside her forgets to suppress her snort.
“He does have my big head,” I toss back. Relief crashes through my veins at her instant joke.
“Can I see him?” She turns to the nurse who taps away on the computer. “Right now? Can you bring me to him?”
“I have to set you up with a blood transfusion first. You lost quite a lot of blood last night. After that, we can get you up to the nursery. They transferred him out of the NICU early this morning.”
Kiersten looks back at me with wide eyes, on the verge of losing it. What form that will take, whether shouting, crying, or a combination, isn’t going to be good.
“Hey. Hey,” I soothe and reach out to stroke a lock of her hair. “Let me show you some pictures.”
I dig out my phone and show her the ones I took after he was cleaned up last night.
“Wow.” She glances at me and bites her lip. “He really does have your big head.”
“Thanks.” I fill my voice with sarcasm. “Any thoughts on a name?”
She bites her lip. “I was hoping you’d like the name Cedric. It’s my grandfather’s name.”
My contemplation takes only a moment. “He looks like a Cedric.”
“Reede.” She glances at me shyly, though the expression could just be from the blood loss.
The thought of which last name never even crossed my mind, and I couldn’t explain why. Being unmarried, I assumed the baby would take her name because she’s had the job of carrying him for nine months.
“Are you sure? Cedric Shaw sounds good too.” My heart beats a little too wildly while I wait for her response.
Her answering smile is all I need, but her verbal confirmation seals it. “I’m sure. Cedric Tyler Reede, named after his great-grand Papa and his daddy.”
This woman absolutely fucking kills me. I don’t know what more it’ll take to make her mine, and after months of trying, it seems all I can do is pray she comes to the same conclusion that I did.
That the two of us were meant to be.
29
Kiersten
The biggest takeaway from the past two weeks is that moms are crazy freaks of nature. It’s a survival mechanism for this perpetual state of sleeplessness. We spend nine months being a human incubator, only to pop that kid out by means of a tiny hole or a giant gaping wound. We instantly transform into a feeding, changing, cleaning machine all while running on a handful of broken hours of sleep and caffeine. But not too much caffeine because that’ll keep the baby up if breastfeeding.
A whole other beast I’ve tackled is knowing what foods I put into my stomach will piss off Cedric once they reach his. So far, that list consists of orange juice and tomatoes. I can live without those, but if spicy tacos end up on that list, I may have to give up breastfeeding.
Nathan returned to work last week, and today is his last day in the rotation before his break. I’m in the middle of packing the diaper bag and filling a cooler with frozen milk for Cedric, while the baby rests in a carrier strapped to my chest.
He doesn’t know it yet, but I’ve devised a plan to work out our custody. It starts it today. Rip the Band-Aid off and all that jazz, except that Band-Aid consists of an entire twenty-four hours without my newborn.
I know he avoids the conversation because of the intense way Cedric entered the world, and I went a little nuts not being able to even meet my son until the next day. I also know he’s giving me space because he wants more between us. I think he hopes I’ll suddenly come to that conclusion.
What he doesn’t know is the hours I’ve spent agonizing over said decision. Leaving Cedric with him tonight will give me some quiet time to think about what it is I want. Not just what I need.
I’ve seen over the past two weeks how much easier my life would be if Nathan were in it full-time, but that seems like a shitty reason to start a relationship with someone. It’s why I never considered dating someone else the entirety of my pregnancy. Be
