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A change of course is in order. “What happened yesterday was the culminating point. I’ve had escalating symptoms for a while now, and I kept thinking, what happens to Ophelia if I can’t take care of her?”
“You’re going to be okay.”
“What if he’s wrong?”
“Who’s wrong?”
“The doctor.” I lock my fearful eyes with his, spilling secrets kept locked tight. Tears well on my waterline. “What if there really is something wrong with my heart, and he just missed it?”
His hand locks around my elbow, a comforting point of contact. “He’s not wrong. You have to believe that.”
“I need you to promise me you’ll take care of her. No matter what.”
“Nothing will happen to you,” he growls deeply, his tone conveying a dizzying distaste for the notion.
“Please promise,” I maintain. He needs to say it. He needs to promise. I’m yanked off balance and into his arms.
“Jesus, Caiti,” he sighs into my hair.
Gun to my head, I’d never admit how good it feels being held to his warm, broad chest. “Promise me,” I mumble against his tee shirt.
“Fuck, I promise. You have nothing to worry about.”
I push out from his embrace a little harder than necessary. The space clears my head. “Not anymore. Thank you.”
The corner of his lips lowers in a frown. “What happens now?”
“I can bring her over later so the two of you can get to know each other.” Indecision slithers through me. It feels wrong to hand over my daughter to a complete stranger. Yesterday was the exception. But that’s the result of a one-night stand, isn’t it? Why should he be denied any further because I don’t know him? He’s her father. If I hadn’t kept her a secret, he would have had the right to see her from birth.
And if something does happen to me, I want him to be familiar to her.
“If you’re nervous, I can have Rhett come over with Tommy,” he states as if he can read my thoughts.
“You’d do that?”
“We’ll start slow. Give you a few days to adjust. If you don’t fight me, I won’t fight you.”
This is the moment when I'd audibly gulp if I were a cartoon character. Because I haven’t figured out how to tell him this might remain temporary. Now that I’ve made contact and he’s agreed to be there for her, maybe a long-distance custody agreement would suffice.
The only certainty is I have roughly a month to figure it out.
