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I tighten my fingers around her leg. “I’m not talking about the shirt, Mama. If I had my way, you’d never take it off.”
Her dark eyes move back and forth between mine, her gaze a mixture of confusion, hope, and a hell of a lot of fear. “Then what—”
The door flies open, and Ophelia dances her way into the room. “Hey! I still hungry.” She throws her hip out and rests her hand on it with more attitude than I thought her little body could handle.
“I’m going to…” Caiti trails off and removes herself from my proximity in answer.
Watching her ass sway beneath the fabric of my tee affirms my thoughts from earlier. I’d die one happy man if she lived inside my shirts. And I’m willing to wait until she’s ready to make that happen.
Because Ophelia may have interrupted what I was about to say, but that doesn’t mean I won’t find another time.
Just like the shirt that was once mine, my heart belongs to her now too. She just hasn’t figured it out yet.
* * *
A warm breezeblows Ma’s hair across her cheek as I push her chair outside to sit on the patio. Birds chirp in their high perches above the grassy yard. The peacefully warm sun has only a few cottony clouds overhead to offer a brief reprieve. I stop the chair beside mine facing the pond and settle a wide-brimmed hat over her head.
“Perfect.” I smile at her from my bent position. Her faraway gaze travels over my face, reminding me of my teen years when she’d attempt to catch me in a lie. I never could keep a straight face when she stared stoically at me, and I feel that same bubbling sensation in my stomach right now.
She cups my cheek affectionately, and I close my eyes. “M-M-My boy.”
The warmth from her brief recognition envelops me. “I’m here, Ma.”
She smiles and looks out at the pond. The words spill forth rather than allow nature to fill the gaps of silence, just as they would when I was a kid.
“You have a granddaughter.”
Ma doesn’t acknowledge me, so I keep talking. She won’t remember this conversation anyway, but this feels like something I need to share with her.
“Her name is Ophelia. She’s two-and-a-half, and she looks a lot like me. She has my dark curly hair, and her smile is one-hundred-percent mine. Her personality is full of bubbles and sunshine. Her favorite color is pink, and she’s obsessed with unicorns and dogs. I’d like her to meet you soon.”
I reach over and hold Ma’s hand. The manicured fingers are frail and withered at this late stage of her life but still bring the same comfort fitted in mine. My throat constricts on a swallow. “I’m falling in love with her mother, Ma. I never thought I’d be that guy, finding love so easily, and I’m terrified.”
“Why are you scared?” Ma’s soft voice disrupts my study of my knees. I glance at her face and find her regarding me with gentle eyes.
I realize we aren’t having a normal conversation with her cognitive decline. I need to tread lightly so as not to upset her with the past, so I choose an easy answer. “I’m scared of losing her.” Vague, but not unrealistic. I won’t ever lose her in the same horrific way Ma lost my father, but there are many bad ways someone can lose a person.
Caiti’s own history speaks of one of the worst ones.
“Fear should never be a reason to avoid something. Take the fear with you, like a backpack.” Years of providing therapy to her clients haven’t faded from her mind. She ran her own practice until she recognized the signs of illness in herself and decided to shut down.
“I know.”
“Love is never wasted, no matter how fleeting it may be.”
Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean it can’t hurt like a son of a bitch. “I love you, Ma.”
Her attention returns to the water without a response, but her hand tightens in mine.
Being here with her like this day after day proves her statement to be true. She took care of me for nearly the first twenty years of my life, and I’ve spent the next twenty trying to repay what I can. It’s my honor to try to make up for her life filled with sacrifices. Even if they’ll never be enough.
