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23
Caiti
The late summerair shuttles a warm breeze across my neck. Even as evening settles, I still feel the heat of the sun. My feet carry me lazily through a quiet neighborhood a few blocks from Main Street as I walk for my mental health. I started with a new therapist today, and she suggested daily walks might help with the lingering anxiety. Since living here and having Dane to watch Ophelia, I have more time to focus on myself. Self-care and all that, except I’m not into bubble baths.
Our first meeting was virtual and only introductory, but I like her. She gives me total April Ludgate vibes from the show Parks and Recreation. Her sarcasm and advice make me feel like I’m gabbing with a girlfriend and not being psychoanalyzed on a therapist’s couch. Even though I technically am.
I hate to admit it, but the fresh air has cleared some cobwebs in my head. Decisions come without examining all possible tangents, and since the wedding, I feel settled. Arrow Creek is full of all the things I’ve been missing. Most importantly, this is where Dane is. But the friendships are an added bonus I don’t take lightly.
Colorado was once my home, but it won’t be for much longer.
The thought adds a skip in my step. The time feels right to rush home and tell Dane. We’ve become so close in such a short period. His comforting presence is more than I could have ever asked for when I showed up just over a month ago. I smile at the old arguments I’d have with myself about how to convince him to hear me out. None of them came to fruition. He took the role better than I could have ever imagined.
Headlights bathe over me from behind. A spike of anxiety strikes unbidden but not unwelcome at this stage. I’m learning to live with the sensations and not add a layer of fear to the alarm bells my body rings from time to time.
The whirr of a window rolling down forces me to check over my shoulder. Relief chases away the fear at the familiar truck now moving beside me. “What are you doing here?”
“Get in.” Dane taps the outside of his driver’s door through the open window.
I roll my eyes, the motion concealed through the yellow streetlights. “I’m almost home. You didn’t have to come find me.”
“Nobody can see you out here, Mama. If you want to walk at night, you need to wear something reflective. And bring a big dog.”
My heart flutters at his concern. “We don’t have a big dog.”
“I’ll buy one.” He taps the outside of the door again. “Come on. The guys are watching Ophelia for me, and if I don’t hurry, she might wrangle them all into a tea party.”
The thought of Ophelia sitting down Law, Nathan, and Rhett for princess tee is an amusing one. “They might enjoy her tea more than the beer you’re serving.”
“If I don’t rescue them, they might need to drink free on me all night, and I can’t afford that.”
I guess my mental health walk is over for today. The butterflies soaring in my stomach tell me that’s okay. Happiness wells inside like a bubbling fountain. “Fine. But I have to be alone sometimes. My therapist said so.”
“Sure. During daylight hours.”
I heft myself into his big truck and throw on my seat belt before he pulls away. “What are you guys supposed to be up to tonight?”
“Late bachelor celebrations. I offered the guys a free round.”
The thought of the wedding sends a clench through my core as the memories of being nailed against a church door stream through my head.
“Knock those thoughts off, Mama, or I’m going to have to call for a rain check.” Dane’s possessive growl does nothing to slow the dull throb between my legs.
“We aren’t shrugging off your friends for sex. Not tonight anyway.”
He clicks the blinker and makes the left toward home. “I also wanted to ask if you’re able to watch Ophelia on Wednesday. Rhett wants to take one last canoe trip down the river this summer, and the other guys have to work.”
I brush my damp palms against my knees, still fighting the delicious ache. “Uh-huh. That’s fine.”
The truck halts in the middle of Main Street. Dane slams the shifter into park with a growled, “Goddammit.” He leans over the seat, yanks me to him, and takes my lips in a bruising kiss. His tongue flicks the seam of my lips, seeking access. I open easily and practically crawl across the middle to reach him. My hands find his hard chest, skating down his sides to reach the waistband of his jeans. Dane wrenches away with a huff.
“I can’t fuck you in the middle of Main Street.”
“Are you sure?” I ask sweetly. Memories of his fingers doing that exact thing in this exact seat push my taunt further.
“If you can manage not to get yourself off while I’m gone, I promise to make it worth it when I get home later.”
Unconsciously, I squeeze my thighs together.
“That is if you can quit squirming in that damn seat and not force me to get you off now.”
“I can’t help it.” I don’t know if it’s the three years without sex or just this man, but I mean every word of that admission.
Dane punches the gas pedal. “I used to think it was me.”
“What was you?”
“For three years, I’ve dreamed of that night, and sometimes, I felt sick, like there was something perverted about me that I couldn’t stop reliving the best lay of my life.”
My throat tightens at his confession.
“I understand now it’s just you. You make me unable to think of anything other than all the things I’ve done and could do with you.”
I close my eyes tight. “It’s not just you. I’ve thought of that night too.” Guilt leaks into my voice. I know he doesn’t miss it when he gently says, “Baby.”
“I’d slip into the tee I stole, and I’d get off to the memory.”
“You’re killing me,” he groans as he slides the truck into a spot at the curb outside his apartment. The shift and twist of the key fill the silence.
A man pacing on the sidewalk in front of Dane’s porch attracts my attention away from the awkwardness welling inside me.
“We better get inside. The sooner I get this round of drinks over with, the sooner I can get back to take care of you.” The way he says take care ignites filthy fantasies.
“I think that sounds good.”
“Put Ophelia down early tonight,” he orders.
