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“Is this who we are now?” I laugh. “Family men with schedules to maintain?”
Rhett looks like he doesn’t give a shit in the slightest to be that type of man. “Absolutely.”
I slip a life jacket over my head and toss one to Rhett. “Ready?”
“Let’s go.”
We set off. Rhett rides up front, and I steer from the back. Our canoe sluices through the water. This part of the river is a placid glide. Images of taking Caiti and Ophelia for a ride fill me with a sense of belonging. I want to share my life with them. All parts of what makes me who I am.
An eagle soars overhead, giving us a rare show when it dips into the flowing water and pulls out with a fish clutched in its talons. We move further down the river with sparse conversation. Each other’s company and nature keeping us occupied.
Small rapids pick up, prompting me to pay closer attention. We’ve been down this part of the river many times. Rocks lurk just beneath the surface.
“We’re picking up speed. Keep an eye out ahead,” I call to Rhett.
“I’m on it. Rock at twelve o’clock.”
With steady pressure from the back, I steer us out of the way.
“You’re really good with your shaft,” Rhett jokes.
I pretend to fan a blush and blow him a fake kiss. “Thanks.”
“We should go further upstream next time and bring the girls.”
Sweat beads on my forehead from the high sun. I swipe my arm across the damp skin. “I thought that earlier. We should plan an entire camping trip. Bring the kids.”
The canoe jostles beneath us.
“We must have hit a rock,” Rhett surmises.
I tighten my grip on the paddle. “If you’d quit talking about my shaft and pay attention…”
“Another one!” he calls out. “Twelve o’clock.”
As I move to execute another slight turn, I stick my paddle in just right that the blade wedges between two rocks. “Fuck! My paddle’s stuck!”
Before I have time to think, I react in an attempt to free it. The canoe keeps moving, the current pushing us down, and I overcorrect. The motion yanks me in.
“Dane!” Rhett’s shout gets lost in the rushing water.
The current tugs me under, throwing me against rock and debris. My head slams against something, stunning me and clouding my perception of up and down. Water rushes in my nostrils. I pop above the surface with a choking gasp, the life jacket barely keeping me above water.
My heart races as I’m jostled beneath the surface again. When I resurface, the canoe with Rhett has disappeared. My lungs burn with the need for air. I fight back the rising panic. This river can be a monster and has me firmly in its grasp.
A strainer appears to the left, a collection of tree limbs and debris caught in one spot, but it’s too far for me to grab. Something hard beneath the surface slams into my knee as I’m dragged past. I swallow a mouthful of water as the river tows me beneath the surface again, twisting me around and around, and thrashing me against the rock bottom. I’m caught in a spin cycle I can’t seem to break out of.
The need to breathe serves a warning I’m running out of air. But before I can break through the surface, my foot wedges between two rocks, locking me in place.
Caiti’s face flashes through my mind, the love stark beneath those thick lashes. The thought of putting her through another unimaginable loss demands I fight harder. I can’t leave her. I can’t leave Ophelia. I can’t do that to her so long as I can help it. They need me as much as I need them.
But the river is stronger. She’s as powerful as her beauty, and with as much knowledge as I have out here, the river’s smarter. The harder I fight, the quicker I tire. Bubbles leak from my sealed lips.
For one single second, between the fight and fear and demand for air, the terrifying thought enters my mind. I might actually die out here.
