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He shut down the computer and decided to head over to the main house from his suite in the pool house. Without the distraction of the words on the screen before him, his mind slipped back to the one person who’d been sliding in and out of his consciousness for the last twenty-four hours.
Allie.
And just like every time he thought about her, there was a tightness in his chest that made the memory both pleasurable and painful. Making love to her had been amazing. And as sappy and ridiculous as it seemed, their lovemaking had felt like…coming home.
But then he remembered his suspicions. Suspicions he’d called her on and that she’d denied with such sincerity and dignity he wanted to believe her. The worst thing was, as the hours had passed since that conversation, he’d become more and more convinced he was wrong about her. There had to be another explanation. Allie had been nothing but honest with him. He knew in his mind he could trust her. It was his damned heart that kept getting in the way, throwing doubts at him because he’d been so hurt by trust in the past.
Although he had called in to work this morning, having promised his mother he would take her to her doctor today, he already had decided he needed to see Allie. Tonight. They had to talk. First, he needed to make sure his mother was doing okay and had dinner. And then he would head over to Allie’s house.
Had it only been yesterday since he’d seen her? It seemed so much longer.
Sam entered the security code for the backdoor and stepped into the house. The music got louder, surrounding him. It
sounded…happy.
His mother’s frail form was wrapped in a silk robe with a blue and violet flowery pattern. He was somewhat taken aback. She never came downstairs unless she was fully dressed. It was just not done. Unless she was sick, and even then, the images of that were few and far between.
What was up?
She smiled when he took a seat on the bench next to her but didn’t stop playing until she reached the end of the piece. It was so much like when he was little, sitting next to his beautiful mother, adoring her and thinking she was the most wonderful person in the world.
“I imagine you have some questions,” she said as the last notes faded, her fingers still on the keys, touching them lovingly. She started to play again, very softly. Something from memory. “I’m sorry you heard us arguing that night. Your father and I had never fought like that before. I’m sorry you had to hear us like that.”
“I’m glad I did. If not, I would have continued to think you and dad were happy—in love with each other.” He sounded cynical. But he was just being honest.
Her fingers pushed hard on the piano keys, and the sharp strains matched her tone. “Don’t mistake that fight for something it wasn’t.” After another moment, her light, deft touch returned, and her shoulders dropped, the music appearing to calm her. “Your father and I may not have been hopelessly in love with each other, but we did love and care for each other. There’s a difference.”
“Were you ever in love with each other?”
“Back when I first met your father, I believe I was in love with him. As much as any self-absorbed, recently turned eighteen-year old could be. It was only a few years after you came along when we began to realize maybe we weren’t the same kids as when we’d first met. Maybe, if we’d waited until we were older and knew ourselves better, we might have discovered we weren’t meant to be together.”
“Not like you and Jackson Williams?”
Her fingers froze above the keys. He was being an asshole, he knew it, but couldn’t stop himself.
“I’m not proud of the way we saw each other, but…yes. I loved him. We loved each other very much, and I know we would have made each other very happy, if…”
“Even though he ended up breaking your heart? Ending things so quickly? You forget, I saw the letters. The last one where you were pleading with him not to end things.”
“Ah. Yes. He was trying to do the right thing. By you and our family. He did try to end things, which was when I wrote that last letter. It brought him back to me.” She resumed playing softly, and Sam sat, enraptured despite himself. “In fact, he had found a teaching position in Oakland. He knew how much being near you when you went off to UC Berkley would mean to me. I was planning on going with him.”
“You were leaving Dad to run away with Mr. Williams? To be close to…me?”
She didn’t answer, just continued to play.
Sam was stunned. That was a serious move. And his father? How would he have taken it? Actually, he didn’t really think his father would have been heartbroken by the news. Not at all. Maybe disappointed, but he would have moved on. His father’d had his own life, a full one that often didn’t include his family.
“It was probably better that way for everyone, including Jackson,” she went on. “I knew he hadn’t lived like a monk before we were together, but there was someone he’d dated earlier who hadn’t taken his decision to end things very well. I didn’t know all the details, and I didn’t want to know. But it was someone he worked with, and apparently, she couldn’t accept it was over. It was becoming a very volatile situation.”
It took Sam a moment to process this information. Mr. Williams had been seeing two different women? Still, that wasn’t so unusual. And he had broken off with the first one before embarking on his next relationship.
Another thought occurred to Sam. “Volatile enough that this other woman might have tried to hurt him? Maybe kill him? Did you ever consider telling the police? When he disappeared, the police could have followed up, and—”
“But you forget, no one knew he’d been murdered. I didn’t even suspect such a thing, Lord help me.” Her voice broke then. “I’d been away that weekend with your father. It was something I’d committed to, and I didn’t want him to lose face among his colleagues by not being there. It was one of the last events we were to attend together before—”
She stopped, choking back a sob. Sam put his arm around her and gently squeezed her arm to give her strength and comfort.
She inhaled and tried again. “I wasn’t alarmed when I didn’t hear from Jackson on Sunday. Not yet. But when he didn’t show up for his classes on Monday, and then the park rangers found his abandoned car…well, by then, everyone presumed there had been a terrible, tragic hiking accident. Myself included.”
