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JULIAN
One would assume things would become easier for Meghan and I once we told each other how we felt, but in our case, it was the exact opposite. Whatever Meghan saw outside my office door transformed her into a ball of nerves. She refused to come to my office hours or spend any time with me outside of my flat in the converted Victorian.
Not that there has been much time for anything other than sleeping. With the winter break approaching, students are eager to turn in final projects, which means my office hours are being used for their intended purpose. I’m also buried up to my neck in grading, which only adds to my stress.
“What?” I growl toward the unexpected visitor entering my office.
It’s late, and Meghan has yet again refused a quick nosh with me between classes.
“Someone seems to be in a bad mood.” Samuel strolls in and takes a seat on the other side of the desk.
“Bad mood doesn’t even cover how I feel.” I lean back in my chair and cross my arms over my chest.
“Is Daddy pouting?” Samuel pushes his chair back a few inches, no doubt in response to the low rumbling growl that leaves my lips.
“First, never, and I mean never, call me Daddy again. Second, I don’t pout. I just miss her.” I turn to my left and look at the space on the shelf I made for Meghan to keep books and snacks when she comes to visit.
“Well, well. Someone has tamed the savage beast. I never thought I would live to see that day.”
“Stop gloating and help me figure things out. She’s paranoid that something will happen.” I sigh, deciding whether I want to tell him everything.
“I can’t help if I don’t know the entire story.” Samuel waits patiently for me to make my decision.
I push back from my desk, stand from the chair, and start talking. I tell him how we met at Cambridge, how I knew I loved her the moment she spilled scalding hot tea in my lap, and how I came all the way to America to find her.
Pacing my office, I tell him about the complications with Stephanie and her desire to ruin Meghan’s chance at graduation. Samuel sits there the entire time, listening to my tale, never once interrupting me. Admittedly, it feels good to get some of this off my chest. And the more I reveal, the lighter I feel.
“Now you know everything. What do we do?” I sink back into my chair, resting my head on the desk.
I’m worn out, feeling completely defeated. I’m supposed to protect her from everything, but right now, it’s clear she is trying to protect me.
“My friend, you are good and fucked.”
I reach into the top desk drawer and pull out an old, worn packet of cigarettes. I haven’t smoked in years, a filthy habit I picked up during my undergrad years to help relieve some of the tension and get me through late nights. But right now, I’m craving old habits.
“Put that away. We just need to think for a moment. You’re more worried about losing her than anything. Am I wrong?” Samuel rests his arm on the edge of the desk.
“Yes. I’ll do anything to keep her with me forever,” I answer without hesitation.
There is nothing I wouldn’t do to ensure Meghan remains safe and in my arms for the rest of our lives.
“Then you have two options: continue to wait for whatever Stephanie has in store for both of you or accept the fact that she has something up her sleeve and bring her down once she plays her hand.”
“What do you think she’s playing at, Samuel?”
“If I know anything about Stephanie, it’s that she is vain. She does not take kindly to being insulted. You not falling at her feet is an insult. She is prepared to do anything.”
Maybe Meghan isn’t being so paranoid after all, but I need to have my girl securely in my arms. We both need it; the strain of this predicament is wearing on both of us.
“Thanks, mate. I appreciate it. I think both of us need to get away. My mum has been pestering me about coming home for the holidays. I think this is the perfect time for Meghan to meet her.”
“Are you sure she is ready to take such a huge step?”
The questioning look in Samuel’s eyes has me wondering the same thing. Meghan and I are still very much in the early stages of our relationship. Personal details like family are rarely discussed. But still…
“She’s mine. What better way to show her how much she means to me than to introduce her to my mum over the holidays?”
Samuel stands and comes around to stand beside me. I look up, meeting my friend’s stare. I’m surprised to find understanding and even envy in his eyes, but before I can say anything, he pats my shoulder and turns to leave.
“You’ll find her someday, Samuel. Probably when you least expect it.”
“Someday is already here, my friend.” Samuel gives me a sad smile before leaving me to my thoughts.
I flip open my laptop and begin planning. Meghan may avoid spending time with me on campus, but she won’t have any excuse when there’s an ocean between us and Stephanie.
