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JULIAN
“What have you done now, son?” Mum is waiting for me as I head into the kitchen after dropping Meghan off at the airport.
This is not how imagined this visit going. I wanted to give her a nice holiday. A chance for us to reconnect after all the stress we have both been under with the threats from Stephanie and finals hanging over our heads. Instead, my mouth ruined everything.
“Good morning, Mum.”
I drop the keys to the rental car on the table and give her a kiss on the cheek before having a seat at the table.
“What’s for breakfast? I’m starving.” I try to add fake enthusiasm into my voice, hoping my mum won’t ask questions.
No matter what I do, she’ll know something is up.
“Why would you bring such a sweet girl like that home with you only to cock things up?” She smacks me on the back of the head like she did when I was a child.
“Bloody hell, Mum! What was that for?”
“That’s for getting up the hopes of an old lady! I want to see you settled, Julian. I want to be a Nan!” She smacks me again. “And that’s for Meghan. Poor girl.”
Memories of Meghan flash through my mind.
“I ruined everything. I couldn’t promise her forever.”
“And why the fuck not?”
I reel back in shock. I’ve only heard my mother swear a handful of times, but every time is just as surprising.
“Mum, language.”
“Don’t be such a prude. I only curse when it’s necessary. Right now, it’s necessary. Why did you bring her here if you weren’t ready to promise her your heart?”
I open my mouth to respond, but close it immediately. Why did I bring Meghan here? I wanted to get her away from everything going on at Danville, but more importantly, I wanted her to meet my mother.
I wanted my little one to know where I came from.
I wanted her to know the type of man I am outside the university.
I wanted her to know what forever would be like.
“I wanted to show her what life with me would be like, but she has her whole life ahead of her.” I reach back and rub my neck as my conversation with Meghan last night fills my mind. “I don’t want to promise her anything I can’t give.”
She takes a seat next to me and wraps her small hand around mine. “It’s all right to be afraid. Forever is a strong word. It’s a promise you’ll love and cherish someone until the end of time. Is that something you’re prepared to do for Meghan?”
I don’t even have to think about my answer. “Yes.”
I love Meghan with everything I am. I will do anything for her, even let her go.
“Does she feel the same way about you?”
“I…I don’t know.”
“Have you asked her?” She gives my hand a gentle squeeze.
I never even bothered to ask Meghan what she wants. Maybe this is her forever. Finishing her degree and coming back to England to live in a tiny cottage.
She might not want to spread her wings or see the rest of the world. If she does, who says we can’t do it together?
“I’m an idiot.” I look at my mum, who has a beautiful smile on her face and unshed tears collecting in her eyes.
