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My mother slammed her mug down on the coffee table and stood to meet me at eye level. “I am just here to help you. I had no idea I’d raised such an ungrateful little bitch.”
My stomach clenched, but I wasn’t surprised by her insult. It barely fazed me. “You are not here to help me. You’ve never helped me my whole damned life!” I was yelling and it felt good. It was like releasing twenty-five years of pent up, stuffed down rage and pain .
“I’ve never helped you?” she spat. “Imadeyou. I am the one who molded you into an elegant, talented girl. You could’ve done great things if your father hadn’t taken you from me.”
If the coffee table hadn’t been separating the two of us, I could’ve tackled her right there. How dare she act like she did me any favors in life.
“You are the one who broke me. You used me to make yourself money and get attention for yourself. That’s not lost on me. I never wanted that life. And you knew,youknew,what that man did to me and you didn’t even care!”
She made a noise that was somewhere between a scoff and growl. “Don’t flatter yourself. You always wanted the men looking at you. You got what you were asking for.”
My chest heaved as shock zipped across my nerves. I reached for her, grabbing onto her elbow and digging my fingers into her boney arm. “Get out!” I pulled her from the living room as she screeched and fought me. I didn’t let her go until we made it to the door and I opened it wide.
“Get your ass out of here. Never, ever show your face on this property again or I will have you arrested.” I shoved her and she stumbled toward the threshold.
She pushed a piece of hair back that had flopped into her face. “You’re making a huge mistake here,” she said. Her whole face had gone red.
I reached for my phone and held it up. “Go!”
Her wide, angered eyes shifted between me and the phone. Then, she snatched her purse from the counter, mumbling obscenities under her breath as she stomped out the door. I slammed it closed once her feet were out.
I turned the lock, my pulse frantic. I leaned against the door as the room spun. I couldn’t believe I’d just done that. I’d thrown my mother out.
Part of me was proud. Another part was absolutely horrified by what happened. My mother hadn’t come here to help me. She wanted to use me, like she always had. I had no doubt she planned to swindle money from the sale of the property if I had entertained the idea of selling. She might’ve even thought she’d be able to get me to sign the damn deed over to her. I wouldn’t put it past her.
I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself. This was nothing new, but it had been so long since I’d had to deal with her.
I wasn’t sure why, but no matter how awful she was, somewhere in my soul, I had always wanted her to love me. I’d wanted her to accept me for who I was instead of what I could get her. I wanted her to love me because I was her daughter and not because I was valuable in dollar signs.
Tears slipped down my cheeks, but I barely noticed them. I’d cried so many recently they were like a part of me now.
I would never be loved by her. But…Ihadbeen loved by so many people. My father had loved me. I had friends who loved me.
Ty loved me.
I bit my lip so hard I almost broke the skin.
Maybe it was finally time for me to start loving myself.
