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“I feel like some things were lost in translation?”
Even as the words came out of his mouth, Jackson knew he’d made a mistake. The problem with saying words out loud was that you couldn’t take them back. There was no rewind button in real life.
When she spoke, it was slow and measured, which only made it so much worse. “Was your sister speaking in a different language?”
“No, that’s not…” He hesitated and rubbed his elbow, the back of his neck, anything that would give him time to get his words together. “She was talking about stereotypes and using it to piss you off.”
“Wow.”
That one word said everything.
Jackson chewed on his lip, watching Oleander as she started pacing. How did he end up saying the wrong thing every single time? He took a deep breath and tried to piece his thoughts and words together. So far, everything he said had upset Oleander. Which meant whatever came out of his mouth next needed to be better.
Oleander spoke, interrupting his thoughts, “You do know what she said to me was wrong, right?”
“It’s just Beth talking shit. She doesn’t mean anything by it.”
Oleander laughed and Jackson winced, because it wasn’t anoh my god you’re so funnylaugh. It was awow you’re an idiotlaugh.
“I can’t believe you’re defending the woman that attacked me.”
“Whoa. Attacked you? She…”
“Shewhat, Jackson?” Oleander was almost in his space. “Words hurt almost as much as actions and if you think you can brush her hateful words aside like it meant nothing, you’re in for a treat.”
“You’re being silly, Oleander.”
Oleander went still and Jackson’s eyes widened when she put her entire focus on him. He backed up, bumping into a counter as he stared at her. It seemed like his brain was a million steps behind his mouth, because he replayed his words and he could seewhythat would upset her so much. Actually,upsetwas an understatement. Oleander had been angry before, now she was livid. And Jackson was so thrown by the look on her face, he didn’t know what to say or how to respond.
“I can’t tell if I’ve been stupid to think you’re not like everyone else or if you’ve been putting on an act this whole time.” She said the words slowly and Jackson found himself frozen on the spot. “Because the guy who took me to the food truck festival wanted to protect me from guys who grabbed my ass, but this guy in front of me is calling me silly and asking me to ignore his sister’s racist and hurtful words.”
“Oleander… that’s not…”
“Don’t,” she whispered and Jackson saw the tears in her eyes. “I’ve been here before. I’ve been called silly, that I’m overreacting and misunderstood what the person said. But we both know I’m not wrong. We know what your sister said to me is the worst kind of insult. And you know what stings?”
Jackson’s heart broke at her words, realizing he’d said those things to her.
“You’re not listening to me. Instead, you’re defending your sister, who is a horrible person, by the way. I know you love her, but Jackson, there is literally nothing nice about her and you know it.”
“I…” Jackson paused when Oleander held up a hand and shook her head.
“Whatever you have to say next, I want you to think about it carefully.”
Jackson pursed his lips. He understood what heneededto say, but he didn’t know how to say it. He took her advice and thought about it. Nothing he could say now would fix the situation. He’d hurt her, he’d used words he didn’t mean, but he’d said them and there was no turning back. He wanted to undo everything, but here lay the problem—he didn’t know what he wanted to say. Other than ‘sorry’. And it was very clear that Oleander didn’t want to hear the word ever again.
“That’s what I thought.” Oleander’s words broke through his inner monolog and Jackson sighed. “I know you love me, but you’ve never been with a woman who looks like me. This can be a learning opportunity for you.”
“What?”
Oleander shrugged and Jackson’s eyes widened. It sounded a lot like she was done with him. Jackson’s heart cracked, his chest ached and his entire body felt like it was falling apart. She wasn’t meeting his eyes and that said everything. She didn’t look angry anymore—she looked tired. Jackson wanted to go to her, wrap her up in his arms and make everything okay again.
“Oleander,what are you saying?” He repeated, pleading with her. The words were shaky as he clenched his fists to stop the rest of his body from shaking as well.
“You should probably leave, Jackson.”
“No…”
“Ineedyou to leave.”
