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“Seriously, Anders,” Frankie said, using a nickname she’d picked up when they were kids. “You’re not interested in Joseph and you’redefinitelyinterested in Jackson. What is the problem?”
“Remember Pierce? That’s the problem.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.” Frankie rubbed the bridge of her nose and Ollie frowned. “You walked away from someone who reminded you of Pierce and itwasn’tJackson.”
Ollie scrunched up her nose. “I haven’tdateda guy since Pierce. I’ve slept with a few and they’ve all felt like shit. Jackson, in case that wasn’t clear yet, is a guy.”
“A very cute guy, from the sounds of it.”
Ugh. “Yes, heiscute. He’s also got this whole Ralph Macchio thing fromKarate Kidgoing on with wanting to help the little guy.”
“Oh, Ralph Macchio was a babe.”
“He wasokay,” Ollie said with a shrug, dropping more wine on herself.
“Totally not what we’re supposed to be discussing,” Frankie told her, nudging her gently.
“My track record with men before and after Pierce has been…shit, to keep it simple. I don’t want to get into a relationship or sleep with someone and have to constantly worry about what they’re going to say about me one day.”
“Babe,” Frankie sighed and shook her head. “Are you planning on staying single forever?”
“That’s what one night stands are for,” Ollie said with a huff. “Don’t be in a relationship, but don’t be lonely either.”
“I know better than anyone how much this scares you, but you’re not even giving yourself a chance.”
“I don’t have it in me to go through heartbreak or a panic attack every time a guy touches me naked.”
“Have you ever thought about…” Frankie started and when Ollie opened her mouth to speak, she held her hands up. “Let me finish. Have you ever thought about talking to yourfunbuddies about these things? Set boundaries.”
“As if any of them care what I’ve been through or how I feel.”
“You’re not even giving them a chance to understand what you’ve been through.”
“Self-preservation.”
Frankie sighed. “So you’re going to fuck everyone that comes your way and walk off without any attachments till the day you die?”
“Doesn’t sound so bad when you put it like that.”
Frankie arched an eyebrow. “When was the last time you had sex?”
“It was two…no, three….wait,” Ollie frowned and pinched her lips together as she thought about it. “Fuck me.”
“Exactly what you should be telling this Jackson guy.”
“Six months, Frank. I haven’t had sex forsix months.”
Frankie emptied her glass of wine. “It’s been more than a year for me, so you’re fine.”
Ollie stood up when her best friend did and they moved to the kitchen where Frankie rummaged around in her fridge for leftovers. “Hypothetically, I say yes to a date with Jackson. And hypothetically, it turns into more dates. And sex. I’m going to completely freak the fuck out.”
“Anders,” Frankie said with so much exasperation, Ollie felt like she was being punished. “Talk to Jackson when you think sex is going to be on the table. Or wherever, you know what I mean. Just…don’t run away from it.”
“It sounds so easy when you say it like that, but it’s not. People aren’t always going to be understanding.”
“Women can be pretty selfish too,” Frankie pointed out as she emptied leftover Chinese food into her wok and set it on the stove.
“Can you imagine me telling him I have something horrible to say before we have sex?”
