AllFreeNovel
Share Us
20
I Just Don’t Care Anymore
HUDSON
When Parker shows up outside my door that morning, I don’t know what to expect, so I open up for her, she looks disheveled and runs straight into my arms, knocking me a few steps back.
Immediately, I know that some part of her really trusts me and feels safe enough to want to show up in such a vulnerable state in front of me.
So today, I’m not the manipulator, cheater, or liar “Hudson”, but caring and attentive “Hudson”.
It’s really awkward for me to react when I don’t know how to in such situations, but over the years I’ve picked up a technique or two here and there.
For instance, my grandmother died when I was ten and Matt was eleven. I didn’t understand what the big fuss was about when it was time to put my grandmother in the ground.
Everyone started wailing as if they’d rather it be them than her in that hard, cold coffin. Even Matt was inconsolable and I remember that day very clearly because I watched as my mother patted his back gently and comforted him with her sweet motherly words.
The patting of the back was her way of showing him she understood his pain. It was something that I couldn’t even simply begin to grasp the meaning of until I reached my early twenties.
They all said my lack of empathy back then was “delayed grief” and that I was in “shock”, but to this day, I have not shed one tear for that woman.
It isn’t that she was a heartless bitch and often chose to spend time with Matt instead of me, but because I genuinely felt nothing.
I place my hand on Parker’s back and slowly rub, just like my mom did to Matt all those years ago.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I’m tired. I never sleep all night,” she says. “Someone broke into the apartment.”
“What?” I’m genuinely surprised by this piece of information. “What exactly happened?”
Parker pulls away and wipes the stray tears away from under her eyes, before pushing her golden locks away from her face.
“After the party, I came home and found the door unlocked and my room had red paint across the walls,” she explains. “I thought it was blood, so I called the cops.”
“What did they do?”
She shrugs as she closes the door behind her and walks into the apartment, before taking off her anorak jacket and leaving it on the silver coat stand.
“They can’t do much,” she says sarcastically. “What freaks me out is that it was just my room.”
“That’s fucked up. Do you have anyone in mind that would have done that?”
Parker looks like she’s about to tell me something, but she quickly closes her mouth and shakes her head, avoiding my eyes.
“I have no idea. It just creeped me out, besides I just need to crash here for the day,” she says. “Lex left and I couldn’t sleep in there on my own.”
“Of course, you can sleep here,” I tell her slowly.
I know I’ll only make myself more irritated if I continue to wonder why Parker would rather keep things to herself when she came to me for comfort.
Parker wants me to sit with her so I do. I give her the time of day. We sit in my bed, and talk for hours about work and school, before moving back into the living room and sitting in front of the electric fireplace.
We’ve already had half a bottle of red wine and it’s early evening when we make love in front of the flames on a blanket that I spread across the floor.
Our clothes fall off effortlessly and there’s only warmth that radiates between us as we settle on the floor. Parker was flat on the floor and me on top and in control of her.
The sex is slow and amazing as I fill her each time, going deeper and getting turned on by how extremely tight and wet she is. She’s always ready for me.
