AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I try to listen to Lex, but I zone out of the conversation, replaying his words over and over again. It just won’t stop.
It’s not like I’m dying to be with you, Parker. Don’t flatter yourself. Do you feel like one? You’re so fucking clueless and paranoid.
“You should have a bath. And maybe we can watch something after,” Lex says, after telling me about, Rob, one of her exes.
The thing with Rob is that he didn’t manipulate, lie, cheat, half murder random strangers and call his ex a whore.
Hell, Ryan never did any of those things even though we ended badly. He cheated and that was it.
I leave Lex and take my phone as I head into the bathroom, where I run a quick bath with a Rosehip essential oil.
There are multiple texts from June. She probably saw the whole scene at the club. I just can’t face her or her texts right now. It’s so fucking embarrassing.
I block Hudson on Instagram and Facebook, before blocking his number and taking it off my phone.
His pictures are still in my gallery and I slowly go through them. How could he do this to me?
My heart swells with pain, yet desire still travels through me as I go through more of his pictures.I’m so fucking stupid. What is wrong with me?I close my eyes and touch myself, my fingers sliding against my wet clit.
He’s touching me, running his long fingers down my slick folds and I gasp as he pushes two fingers inside of me, always with his middle and index. In and out. Slowly and then faster. His thumb works the nub as he finger fucks me and I cry out as I come.
My body jolts with immediate pain and pleasure as images of Hudson fill my mind.
When I open my eyes, I’m all alone in the tub and all that remains of him is the trembling sensation that his memory brings.
I close my eyes and let the tears fall.
This coming week is graduation. Maybe it will be good to head to Staten Island with my parents for a while. Even with their awful company, I’ll find some peace in it. I can’t even remember when last I talked to either of them.
And I’ll probably keep myself busy with packing since Lex and I have to part ways. She’s moving into Kyle’s townhouse which is rent-free because he inherited it from his late grandmother.
“Parker, do you want to watch Bates Motel? We were supposed to watch it and I thought we could do this before graduation,” Lex says, on the other side of the bathroom door.
I don’t want to. All I want to do is climb into my bed and close my eyes and hope I wake up only to realize that it was all just a nightmare.
“Sure,” I say, as I climb out of the tub and wrap the linen towel around my body.
I brush the knots out of my hair and stare at myself for the first time in a long time in the mirror.
There’s no makeup on my face, so I can now see the dark circles, red-ringed grey eyes, and hollow, pale face staring right back at me.
I look horrible and I feel just as horrible inside. It’s been weeks since I’ve been to any yoga class too, almost like everything I was interested in before, is no longer a priority.
Before him, life wasn’t complicated. I was a smart woman with goals. How did I let things get like this? My life revolved around him and what he did and what he wanted.
Taking a deep breath, I leave the bathroom and change into the pajamas, before heading to the living room.
Lex and I eat cup noodles, but I abandon mine halfway through because I feel like I’ll puke. Instead, I stare ahead at the TV like an empty zombie as I try to forget.
