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“Oh, trust me, if I could erase your face from my memory I would,” I say. “I’m done being your mat so you can stop walking all over me and my feelings.”
“Please let me explain—” he begins, but I cut him off.
“I don’t want to listen to the excuse
this time.”
I watch as he leaves the kitchen, before letting out a deep breath while grasping the edge of the cold counter.
I’m in my safe zone. He’s at my house. He can’t just do wrong and then decide to apologize when he realizes he messed up.
I am not his toy. I have rights and he can’t keep on abusing them because he has issues.
Dr. Callahan said it herself, he doesn’t love me. Not the way I love him. It’s the fact that I still love him that tears my heart apart inside.
He told me he loved me a hundred times before while kissing me, fucking me, and even while we lay in bed together.
Imagine being with someone and you don’t even know who they really are? Because truthfully, I don’t know the real Hudson.
Vera called me once since our meeting and wished me the best, hoping that I “make the right decision”.
This is for the best,I tell myself as I head back into the living room.
My skin is prickled with goosebumps as I scan the room for him, but he’s nowhere to be seen.It’s for the best,I remind myself. I can’t keep putting my heart on the chopping block for him.
Only his parents are visible, drinking wine and talking to my parents who are completely unaware of anything.
Maybe he really left. If he did, then he did both of us a huge fucking favor.
I continue to mingle with my parents for another hour and when Hudson’s face doesn’t show up again, I leave the party and head upstairs to my bedroom. My feet are killing me from walking around in heels all evening and I can feel the effects of an oncoming headache.
My skin is sticky and I can hardly wait to scrub off all the make-up from my face, so I run a bath as I head into the adjoining bathroom.
“Parker, please don’t scream.”
A hand clamps over my mouth and I feel him come up behind me.
“I just want to talk. I don’t want to lie or give you any bullshit story, please just talk to me,” he whispers against my ear, his hot breath tickling my skin.
I stop struggling in his tight grip and Hudson lets go before I turn around to face him.
