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If the bullshit from my past had never resurfaced, things would have been easier.
I try to blend in and achieve normal things normal people have. A job, a car, a home to come to at night, and someone that loves me and wants to be around me.
Parker could provide all of the benefits I need if she’d just stop trying to change me. I accept her the way she is. It’s just me. I want to be me. I might not laugh at people’s attempts at lame jokes or force myself to like strangers, but I’m never going to change. I can feel it. There’s no hope for someone like me.
“What are you thinking about?” she asks, kissing my neck.
“Just thinking about work and you and I,” I tell her.
“I never get to be there and tell you that I’m proud of you for accomplishing Law School.” She sits up a little and stares into my eyes.
I can see how hard she’s trying to figure me out and she never will, not unless I tell her anything and that is not likely to happen.
“Thanks. I’m glad it’s over though.”
“I think we should move in,” she says after a while.
“I can hear a but,” I say.
This is great news. I’ve been trying forever to get her to move in, but this comes with a deal.
“But I want you to try to go for sessions.” She bites her bottom lip and watches me, waiting for me to say something.
“Parker—”
“I just want to help you because I love you. I don’t hate you, Hudson. I want us to have a chance,” she says.
I take a deep breath and smile at her.
“Sure. I’ll try.”
We spend the rest of the night talking about when we get back to Manhattan and it isn’t long before Parker falls asleep against me.
I watch her for a long while trying to figure out why she doesn’t give up on me. Everyone leaves at some point, but not her.
