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Her lips devoured my anger in a flash, a soft peck against the corner of my snarl. I hated the way it clouded everything, the way her arms draping around me could make my practiced self-hatred so hard to hold onto. Another playful peck lightened my grip on her sides and forced my hands lower, earning a perfect yip when I grabbed at her soft ass.
“You’re hopeless enough for the both of us,” she murmured against my lips, her smile pressing another peck against me. “If you see only the bad in people, can’t I look for the good?”
“Birdie.” Her lips tried to strangle the fight in me, but fear brought us another inch apart. “There’s shit I can’t protect you from.”
“But if you were next to me, it’d be different, wouldn’t it?” Her hum had come so easily, had left her so confidently, that I was hardly sure I’d heard it. “After you deal with Josh, couldn’t we just—”
Embarrassment choked the rest of the words. Her cheeks were burning too brightly to allow her to spit out the words that would put me in my grave. More than anything, I wanted to hear Birdie beg me to be next to her, to stay next to her. I wanted to hear the vow I’d been dreaming of, but that name had a way of changing everything. Even six years later, Josh still had a way of keeping me away from her.
When she finds out the truth, she’ll never forgive you.
When she finds out there’s no one in the woods, you’ll never see her again.
A frown brought her head into a bow, but a small smile pulled her back up to me. “I know what you’re thinking,” she teased. “You think I’m stupid.”
“I don’t think you’re stupid, Birdie.”
“Yes, you do.”
Her laughter curled my lips, and Birdie’s sweetness softened me again. It was impossible to think Birdie was anything less than perfect— not when I’d spent so long watching, waiting, praying for a mistake.
She settled back into her seat and gave another playful kick of her legs. “You and me, we’re different than they are. That’s why you talked to me, isn’t it?”
When our eyes locked, I couldn’t speak, couldn’t lie, couldn’t look away.
“Yes.”
She nodded her head, shot me a warm wink. “We’re kind because we know what it’s like to not have kindness.” When my stomach twisted, her shoulders softened again. “I don’t think Tristan’s kind. Tristan’snice, and he’s only nice because he thinks it’s an exchange.”
The sickness would be impossible to avoid this time— that awful reminder that came with the dark. Her gentle tones had a way of forcing those disgusting pieces to the surface and reminding me of the parts I’d rather avoid. Birdie’s kindness made me look in the mirror, and cloying notes made me recognize the pieces only she had ever seen. There was a hope that lived within her. Birdie’s compassion helped me find my own. But gentle words reminded me of something else, now.
I hadn’t always been kind, had I?
Omar wanted to meet me tomorrow morning, wanted to push me into coming clean with this entire mess. There was no evidence thatanyonehad caused her accident. The cop was convinced that the fear in my stomach, the haze of her head injury, had conjured a demon out of the dark— a truth I knew before I felt her lips on me, before I took her as my own. Every second I kept her was another lie she’d have to tell to the police, another moral she’d have to break. When the cops called off the search for her body, her mother would fall apart. When they delivered news that her daughter was most likely dead, it would kill her, and Birdie would be without any family at all.
When she finds out the truth, she’ll hate me.
When she steals back her compassion, she’ll take everything with her.
She’ll leave and you’ll be nothing again.
“What if I’m not like you?” The question snapped her head up. My eyes stayed trained on the fridge. “What are you going to do when you realize I’m not the thing you think I am?”
Her nose scrunched at the thought. “You’d be a dangerous man if you ever saw yourself the way I see you, Michael.”
“Birdie.”
“You’re kind to me, aren’t you?”
Her eyes would only be on me for a second. Then, she shifted things again. Delicate fingers grabbed out for me, and a playful tug nestled me between her thighs. Her arms wrapped around my neck, and as she pulled me in even closer, mine wrapped around her waist. It wasn’t until my face nuzzled into her neck that I felt it, though.
This was what it felt like— to be complete.
“You’re kind to me,” she repeated. “So you can’t be all bad, Michael.”
When a shiver ran over my skin, icy palms landed on her warm thighs. Whatever worries had been nipping away at the back of my head were gone when I felt her lips on my neck, on my temple, her fingers in my hair. If I wasn’t meant to lie to her, why did it all feel so good? If this thing was wrong, how could it feel so right.
“I should have been gentler.”
I could almost feel her skin heat up, feel her panties dampen at the thought. My palms slid over her skin and slowly worked her shirt up her body. By the time my hands landed on her waist, they froze in place. Any higher and I’d have to see the bruises I left on her the night before, the scar another accident had left along her side. If I lifted any higher, I’d have to come face to face with my mistake.
Her fingers tangled in my hair, giving a playful tug when I refused to look up to her. Then, her smile captured my entire world. “I’m not as fragile as you think I am,” she noted, cheeks tinting. “You’re allowed to be rough with me, Michael.”
“Birdie, if I hurt you—”
“I need you to treat me normal.” The statement came out with such severity that her body stiffened with embarrassment. Fingers brushed through my hair once more, and finally, her eyes rested on me. “My favourite thing is that you’ve always treated me like everyone else,” she noted. “I need you to treat me like you would anyone else.”
“There is no one else.” This time, when her lips pressed into my temple, all I could feel was the warmth of her smile— a grin that pulled out the last shred of truth I’d been holding onto. “There’s never going to be anyone else, Birdie.”
