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“Yes, that’s what I meant.”
He leans casually to one side, waiting for my response like he’s waiting for a bus.
Blood sears through me, pooling hot in my center. I clench my fists against the burn. A deep ache settles low in my belly, clawing at carefully constructed walls I’ve spent years building. I hate him for doing this to me, using my lifelong lust for him against me. It’s cruel, and the longer we face off, resentment begins mixing with the violent throb in my core. He knows he’s perfect. How much this is torturing me. My forever crush. My fantasy.
My nightmare.
“No. You just have to suck it up,” I lie. “And we have doors, ya know,” I snap, stalking toward mine.
His sexy smirk is the last thing I see before I slam it shut.
“He needs to leave!” I say, cornering Kim in her room the second she returns from work.
“Whoa. Hello to you too.”
She tugs the strap of her purse over her head and tosses it on the floor beside her nightstand.
“I’m serious, Kim. Enough is enough. I get that he’s your brother, but it’s not working. He’s… he’s… gah!”
I’m so upset I can’t even get the words out. I had this whole speech planned, reasoned and finessed, but now that she’s standing here, I just want to yell and throw things. That’s what Tristan does to me. Makes me full-oncrazy.
“Okay, calm down. Let’s just sit and discuss—”
“We alreadydiscussed! We discussed until there was nothing left to discuss. I said I’d give it a chance and I did. It’s not working. He needs to go!”
“He can’t go,” she says, her own temper rising. “Like I told you a million times, he has nowhere elsetogo. And besides, his home plan was already approved as part of his parole process. I don’t even know if he’s allowed to live anywhere else.”
“That’s not your problem!”
“Itismy problem. He’s my brother!”
“Who made horrible choices! He needs to live with the consequences.”
“And four and a half years of hell isn’t enough?!”
“Do you think Amber’s family thinks it’s enough? He’s a criminal, Kim. I know you love him, but you need to wake up and accept the truth. Your brother is a callous—”
“Stop!” Tears gather in her eyes, clouding over a pain so deep it rocks me back. “Just… stop,” she breathes out, wiping at them. After a long silence, she looks up again, and I shudder at the grief on her face. “Please, just trust me on this.Pleasegive him a chance. I’m begging you as a best friend, asister.”
I blink at her as her desperate plea registers in a whole new way. Yes, it’s coming from a heart that deeply loves her brother, but there’s something else. Something scratching just below the surface and making my stomach ache.
It’s not what she’s saying; it’s what she’s not.
“Kim…” My voice is resigned.
“Please, Iz. I know… I wish…”
Just say it!
I wait a few more seconds, silently pleading with her to make me understand. Iwantto understand, but I don’t know how they expect me to go along with something if they’re going to keep me in the dark. She shakes her head in frustration, and soon those unspoken words get tucked back into her brain, safe and hidden from me.
“It’s fine,” I mumble, hurt that she doesn’t trust me.Me. The person who’s stood by her through heartache after heartache. The person who held her life together during her utter implosion after the accident and Tristan’s arrest. But I guess that still isn’t enough. MaybeI’mnot enough.
“Iz, please. It’s… complicated.”
“I’m sure it is,” I say evenly. “I have to go watch that lecture for atomic physics.”
I don’t wait for a response before slipping through the door and escaping back to my room.
Defeated and alone, I collapse onto my bed and let myself cry for the first time in months.
