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And she’d turned to see the person she’d come to New York to find. The person she’d never realized how much she loved. The person she’d thought was lost forever, slipped between the cracks of the crazy insane world.
Avery, crying her name, running toward her with a joy on her face that outshone every neon light in New York City.
Running.Not lecturing, not scolding, not slamming doors or building fences. Just dashing wildly toward her. As if she couldn’t be happier to see her. And as Avery pulled her close, Addisyn felt the tears coming—tears that cleansed the last shred of darkness from her soul, tears of release that told her she was finally, finally warm and loved, after being cold and lonely for so long.
Doubts still crackled beneath the surface of her mind. Had Avery forgotten the animosity that had existed between them, the way they’d been at war for so long? Part of Addisyn whispered that this was just a lovely dream, too good to last. Any moment now, Avery would push her back, turn away again.
But as she buried her face in Avery’s shoulder, basking in the security of her sister’s arms about her once again, Addisyn decided that for now, those worries could wait. She would enjoy her sister’s presence while she could.
“Addisyn!” Love broke Avery’s voice. Addisyn could feel her sister’s hand trembling on her hair. “Oh, Addisyn.”
“Avery—” Addisyn pulled back just enough to look up into her sister’s face. Avery looked much as she always had, but there was a dream behind her eyes, a peace on her features that had never been there when she’d had to live in New York City and wake every morning to an anxiety that ate her alive. The joy Addisyn felt seemed to swallow her words. “You look wonderful—so happy—”
“I am.” Avery’s eyes swam with tears. Her laugh slipped over a sob. “Now that I’ve found you.”
Now that I’ve found you?The words made no sense. Unless—
Realization tingled over Addisyn’s being. The idea was unbelievable, even absurd. But while Addisyn had been desperately searching for Avery, was it possible Avery had been looking for her too?
If so, then she deserved to know the truth. She deserved to know exactly how low Addisyn had fallen, how unworthy she was of this moment. As Avery reached to embrace her again, Addisyn forced herself to pull back. “Wait.” She stood stiffly, as if facing a firing squad. “I need to tell you something.” She took a deep breath. “I’ve been a horrible person, and I’ve made a mess of—”
“Oh, Addisyn.” Avery reached out and gripped her sister’s forearms. As if she couldn’t bear to break the contact between them. “I don’t care about any of that. All I care about is having you back.”
Addisyn’s heart shattered a little more. Her sister still didn’t get it, wasn’t hearing the true story. Otherwise, she’d be gone, leaving Addisyn alone. The way she deserved to be. “But—but you were right. All along.” Addisyn steeled her soul to the breaking point. This was what she’d come to New York to say, and she had to tell it, even if it ruined everything. “I have—I have sinned.” The shame burned her throat. “I—I didn’t listen to you. I went with Brian—I—I made so many awful, awful choices.”
She paused, struggling for breath. She couldn’t look at Avery now, couldn’t bear to watch the love in her eyes freeze to ice, so she examined the pattern of the tile floor. “And I—I forgot all about God.” Avery would never love her again after this moment. “I’ve disappointed you. I’ve disappointed everyone. I asked God to give me one more chance to tell you how sorry I am for—”
“Addisyn.” Her sister’s voice was quiet, calm.
Addisyn continued to gaze at the tile floor. What a dreary victory. She’d done the hard thing, told her sister all of her scrapes and scars. She didn’t deserve Avery’s love, and she’d been right to tell her so. Now, if Avery truly had been searching for her, she’d know her quest was over. She could turn around and walk out the doors of LaGuardia with a clear conscience and never have to think of her failed younger sister again.
“Addisyn, please look at me.” Avery’s hands were gentle on her shoulders.
What else was there to say? But slowly, Addisyn raised her head and looked into her sister’s face. And a jolt of amazement electrified her soul.
She’d pictured a dozen possible expressions on Avery’s face. Anger, disgust, aversion, maybe even sadness. But not one of those emotions swirled in Avery’s eyes.
Instead, her face reflected the kind of intensity that only came from the deep wells of the heart—the same protective resolve that Addisyn remembered seeing the night Avery had told her they were leaving their father. And there was no distance growing in her eyes, no sign that she was stepping back or checking out. No hint that she might turn on her heel and leave Addisyn drowning in grief in the mess she’d made.
Only love and concern shone from her face.
Softly, Avery laid one hand alongside Addisyn’s face. “I know, Addisyn. It’s okay.”
“No. It’s not okay.” Addisyn shook her head firmly. “I hurt you, and all along you were right. And you are so—so—devout. Such a good person.” If ever a person had loved God, it was Avery. “You deserve better than—”
“Oh, Addisyn.” The pain in her sister’s voice withered her words where they stood. “Addisyn. You still don’t understand, do you?”
Understand what?
Her sister’s smile was as gentle and genuine as a spring sunrise. “Addisyn, I love you. No matter what you’ve done, no matter what you ever did, I would always love you.” For the first time in their conversation, sorrow floated over her face. “I was wrong, Addisyn. What I told you was right, but the way I told it to you was wrong. It did nothing except drive a wedge between us.” She sighed, seeming to sink under some spiritual weight. “I’ve asked El Shaddai over and over for a chance to tell you how sorry I am.”
Shock burrowed through Addisyn’s soul. What was going on? “You don’t need to apologize to me! You’ve done nothing compared to—”
“That’s right. I’ve done nothing.” Her sister’s eyes held a regret she couldn’t fathom. “I let you go...and until now, I’ve done nothing to get you back.”
“Until now?” Addisyn couldn’t breathe, couldn’t blink, or the moment might end.
“Well—I moved to Colorado after you left. I’ve lived there almost a year now. And I came back here—” Avery’s gesture encompassed the whole concourse—“to New York City. The place I hate.” Her eyes bored into Addisyn’s soul, the way they’d always been able to do. “Because I was looking for you.”
