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Forgiven?Darius squinted in confusion. Hadn’t Terry heard what he’d said? “Terry, I can’t. That’s the horrible part.” He gestured vaguely, trying to convey a sense of the hopelessness of his situation. “I can’t expect God to overlook a horrible choice that was all my own fault. That hurt a lot of people.”
“Overlook? Certainly not.” Terry stared intently at Darius. “I’m talking about forgive.” Seeing the baffled stare on Darius’s face, Terry rephrased his statement. “To overlook a sin is to sweep it under the rug and allow it to fester in darkness. To forgive is to call it out, acknowledge it—and then heal it.”
This still wasn’t making sense. Darius shook his head. “I don’t understand, Terry.”
“Surely with all your years in church you’ve heard the gospel, son.”
Darius was beginning to feel impatient. “Sure, I heard the gospel a time or two...thousand.”
“Tell it to me.” Terry leaned back in his chair.
Darius fumbled with his words. Disappointment was wriggling through him. He’d been Mr. Brave, coming in here to tell Terry his darkest secret, and the man couldn’t help him. He was about to give him some canned—
“Tell me the gospel, son.”
Darius sighed. “Okay. People do wrong things that separate them from God, so God sent His Son, Jesus, to earth. Jesus died on a cross, taking on Himself the punishment we deserve, so that we can ask Him for forgiveness and live with Him in Heaven forever.” He felt like a trite Sunday-school boy as he said the words. That time was over for him.
Terry smiled knowingly. “You left out the most important part.”
Darius leaned forward. “What?”
Terry’s words were simple but profound. “Love.” His voice was almost a whisper. “You left out the love. God sent Jesus to rescue us because He loves us.”
Like a daybreak cracking open a grey sky, Darius could feel his soul stirring. Love? God’s love? Had he really missed that all along?
“Darius, let me tell you something.”
Gone was Darius’s impatience. He was hanging on Terry’s every word now.
“I think all your life you’ve seen God as a judge and your life as a performance. You’ve compared your relationship with God to going on that ice and skating. You’ve focused hard on getting your routine right, not missing any steps, and watching your timing carefully. Because you knew that God was watching, scowling, ready to crack down on you over any little mistake. You thought God wanted perfection.
“But Darius, that’s not true. God never asked you to give Him perfection. He asked you to give Him Darius Payne. Heart and soul. Even with all the flaws.”
So many foreign emotions were stirring in Darius’s heart. Hope—grief that he’d never realized this—amazement—gratitude—and—was it—freedom?
Terry opened the drawer of his desk and pulled out a battered Bible, stroking the worn leather cover reverently. “Darius, God doesn’t sit on the mountaintop and wait for us to climb up to Him. He knows nobody can do that. There’s not a perfect person on this planet.” A smile gently spread across Terry’s face. “That’s why the gospel isgoodnews, son. God isn’t using your good deeds and your bad ones to try to figure some composite score. Instead, He sent Jesus. And now all He wants is for you to love Him and trust Him.”
Terry turned his head and gazed out the window. “The Bible says His mercies are new every morning. Every day when I get here to the center and see the light breaking over Whistler, I remember that. Son, there are as many fresh chances in the love of God as there are days in your life—and then some. God knows you can’t be perfect.” He paused, and his eyes focused onto Darius’s face. “He loves you anyway.”
“Oh, Terry.” The tears were coming. “I can’t believe this.”
Darius bent his head and cried. Not just a quiet trickle of tears, but the kind of sobs from a man who has been lost in a desert his whole life and sees an oasis before him. Terry left his chair and knelt beside Darius, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
After a few minutes, Darius swiped the back of his hand across his face. “Terry.” His voice was still cracking. “Thank you for this.”
“Don’t thank me. Thank God.” Terry’s eyes were damp too. “He did the work for you, son. We were never designed to carry the weight of our sins on our own shoulders.” Terry squeezed Darius’s shoulder. “It’s not a competition. God isn’t angry if you don’t win the medal. He just wants your love.”
“I realize that now.” Darius still felt as if he might cry at any moment. “I need to talk to Him.”
Terry smiled. “I would agree. He’s been waiting for a while.”
“Yes.” Darius sniffed and nodded. “A long while.”
The two men exchanged a hug. “I’ll be praying for you.” Terry squeezed Darius’s shoulder with the affection of a father.
“Thanks.” Together they slowly made their way out of the climbing center.
They were in the parking lot when Terry suddenly smiled. “I’ve been meaning to ask. How’re things with that girl?”
