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His face went slack for a moment before he caught himself and smoothed over his expression.
Wiping my hand over my face, I rubbed my chin. “Do you think you could ever? What about if I personally train Sebastian until I can guarantee that he can take over for me?”
I was grasping at straws, but claws of desperation squeezed around my throat. Grinding down on my back teeth, I said, “Come on, Alex. I’ve never known you to be selfish.”
It was a risk, daring to criticize a man like him. It was untrue and unfair; he was one of the most selfless men I knew. I’d played him a dirty hand, but I had to make him see how much this meant to me.
His green eyes glittered. He didn’t like what I’d said.
After a long period of dead silence, he leaned back against the couch again, mimicking relaxation, although, having known this man most of my life, I wasn’t fooled by his posture.
“I don’t make any promises, but I’ll consider your suggestion. Sebastian is loyal. Eager to learn. But he has a long way to go, and even if he improves, he can never be you. You understand what I’m saying, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I replied instantly. “You’d be making a sacrifice. For me.”
“You’re irreplaceable,” he said softly.
My heart ached and sank at the same time. Of course, who didn’t want to hear such praise? It felt good to be wanted, but not if it kept me away from what was mine.
I huffed out a little derisive laugh. “You know better than I, Alex, that no one is irreplaceable. Your father was the most ruthless and successful sef to live, and yet he died and you took his place. I am, most definitely, replaceable. I will mold Sebastian to take my place. Don’t worry, I will prepare him,” I promised.
“Does he have what it takes?” Alex asked dubiously.
“Definitely. He wants to prove himself as a Romanian and a mafie-made man. Your father gave him an out. He could’ve easily left well enough alone and never contacted you. If he wanted a relationship with you and your brothers, he could have left it at that without getting into the business, like Emma has. But no, he committed himself immediately. I sense he has something to prove,” I concluded.
“With my father, there was always something to prove,” he said with a sigh. “It was part and parcel of being his son.”
“I wouldn’t leave you high and dry, Alex, but I won’t lie to you, I’m committed to Clara. I’m committed to making this work for both of us.”
Alex hadn’t said yes, but he hadn’t categorically said no, either. I’d hang on to that. I’d get Sebastian in shape.
“Talk to Sebastian,” I persisted. “Give him a heads-up because starting tomorrow, Sebastian will be my shadow. Unless I’m in bed with my woman, I’ll be putting him through his paces.”
I wasn’t going to waste a moment. Tomorrow, he’d start on the accelerated track.
“Don’t get your hopes up,” Alex warned me, as if hearing my thoughts. “The decision ultimately lies with me.”
How could I forget? I didn’t need a reminder that my happiness, my life with Clara, hung in the balance. But I was no stranger to hard work. I’d work on this harder than anything else I’d ever done. Pray to God, it worked out.
