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I shuttered my eyes at the thought of her, holding down the bile rising in my throat.
The door flew open again, banging against the wall in Alex’s wake. Nina was right behind him, eyes wide and shining with fear. Fear of Alex’s rage. Fear for my imminent death.
“What fucking kills me is that you didn’t trust me enough to confide in me,” he thundered.
I shook my head. “Believe me, I suffered ten years over this. Suffered from disgrace at what he had done. Humiliation that I was attached to that man in any way. What did you expect me to do?”
I knew it wasn’t a good idea to poke the bear, but did he truly think any of this was easy for me?
Alex opened his mouth to respond, but before he could answer, I stampeded over him, “You would’ve never made me your right-hand man, you would’ve never made me consilier. At least, admit that much.”
“What the fuck would you have had me do?!” he exploded.
I staggered on my feet, lunged toward him, and got in his face.
I took a deep breath and explained, “Your father had just been murdered. You needed to focus on solidifying your power and avenging his death. I had to help you achieve those goals, but you wouldn’t have taken me on as consilier if you’d known.” I shrugged and lifted my hands in a defenseless motion. “So, I took the choice out of your hands and made the decision for you. The best decision for the sake of the clan.”
Alex’s eyes flared into twin emerald flames.
“Without me, you may not have survived the revenge. Had you survived, you wouldn’t have ruled as well without me. It wasn’t like you were coming into the position of sef while your father died peacefully in his own bed. It was no calm transfer of power. We were in the middle of outright chaos, with a looming war on our hands. That’s why we dubbed it the Summer of Blood.”
“Don’t fucking pretend like you didn’t have your own motivations as well,” he sneered.
“Yes, I did,” I acknowledged. “I had a mother, who was devastated by the murder of her husband, and an eight-year-old sister whom I had to raise. She didn’t deserve to be tarnished by this, and I was determined to give her everything my father had torn away from us with his treachery. But don’t pretend you would’ve done any differently. Despite all of that, my primary reason was you. You saved me as a kid, Alex, and I would’ve done anything for you. Simple as that. You wouldn’t have made the best choice if you’d known the whole truth, so I made it for you. Your father would’ve agreed with my decision.”
“Oh, Alex,” Nina murmured softly into her husband’s sleeve with a sniffle.
Hands fisted at his sides, he squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck, how did this get so fucked up?”
“I understand the difficult position I’ve put you in. Of course, I’ll take my punishment. I did you wrong. I did the clan wrong. But I will never regret it because I had to do wrong to do the ultimate right. With your father bleeding out on the street and a clan looking to you for answers, wrong overruled right because survival and revenge were the only things that mattered. All I ask, when you make your decision, is that you take care of my mother and sister. Besides Clara, they’re the only people in this world that matter to me as much as you and your brothers.”
The tendons of my neck were stiff by the time I finished my speech. I could practically feel them splitting apart like the steel cords of a collapsing bridge.
“Spare them,” I pleaded. “Please, Alex, please, I beg you, don’t turn them out like beggars or allow them to stay only to be humiliated. This is the only world they know. My mother will die of grief if she’s turned away in disgrace or if she’s made to suffer for my sins. And Star, she’s an innocent. She knows nothing about this. Don’t let anything happen to her. Let her marry someone good.”
“You think you’re in the position to ask me for any favors?” he snarled.
Nina wrapped her hand around his biceps and gripped hard. She was always a gentle soul, and I knew that Star and she had gotten close over the last couple of years. Nina grew up down the street from us, next door to Alex’s family. She’d been his little sister Tasa’s best friend their entire lives. When Tasa ran away and Nina got together with Alex, Star made Nina feel welcomed, genuinely inviting her into the fold. Many of the other women did it begrudgingly, only because she was married to their sef while bad-mouthing her behind her back.
“No, I’m not in a position to ask for a favor, but I’m asking anyway. I’m begging for mercy. Not for me. You can kill me. I’m ready to accept your judgment. But for them,” I finished in a low rumble.
Despite how good and pure my mother and Star were, we inhabited a twisted, mafie world, where women were innocent victims of the mistakes of their men. Betrayal? Treachery? Those were automatic triggers for death and dismemberment of anyone in the family trapped in one of these scenarios.
His enraged gaze locked on mine. I held my breath as I waited for his verdict. A flicker of indecision crossed his face. He was torn. From my side vision, I registered Nina’s tortured expression.
Finally, he broke the deafening silence.
“I will spare them,” he pronounced. “I don’t need anyone but my brothers knowing about this fucked-up situation. No one else will know of this. The secret has been kept this long. Your last job for this clan is to kill the Bratva. See, that will be your incentive. Get rid of every outsider who knows this secret, and it will remain a secret. If you can manage that, your family will be safe. If you can’t, and it gets out, then let the cards fall where they may.”
“That’s a death sentence,” Nina rasped out.
It was.
Alex had laid out his decree, and I had to respect the chance he was giving me to save my family. My mission was to kill the Bratva boss, his right-hand man, and Grigore. I could take on Grigore on my own, no problem, but the chances of killing the head of the Bratva and getting away with it were slim to none.
My heart stuttered, but I iced the throbbing, pulsing muscle, iced my feelings, iced everything. There was no room for anything other than the survival of my loved ones.
“If you want to make sure your mother and sister are safe, you better kill before you’re killed.”
“And if I survive?”
“If you survive, my former brother, then I will let you live. Of course, you’ll never step foot in this city again.”
“I could live with that,” I muttered.
He barked out a harsh laugh.
“If you live, and that’s a big if. Now get the fuck out of my face before I change my mind,” he declared.
