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18
“You what?” my mother screeched during our video chat, her hand flying to her throat. I cringed. This outburst wasn’t good for her health, post-chemo, but considering Luca was out there getting beaten up by my family, I was in no position to complain. My phone beeped with an incoming text, but I was too focused on my mother to look at it.
It was going about as well as could be expected, considering I just told her I lost my virginity to a man who was not my husband. Oh, and the fact that he also happened to be my fiancé’s brother, although the “not married” part was the real sticking point.
“You heard me,” I replied. It was never a good day when you broke your mother’s heart.
“O, Doamne,” she bemoaned. Oh my God was as close as she got to a curse. “What was the one thing I always told you, Cat? Stay a virgin until you’re married. The rule you swore on your bunica’s life that you would abide by. The rule that finally convinced me to let you go to boarding school. The one and only rule, Cat. The one and only!”
“Okay, calm down, Mama. I know you’re disappointed, but Nicu didn’t love me—”
“What does love have to do with anything?” she screeched out incredulously. “Since when have I ever told you that love had anything to do with marriage?”
“You and Tata love—”
“Yes, but I wasn’t born into a mafie family. Your father was a nobody when we got together. He built this family, this clan, from the gutters of Bucharest. You can’t compare my life to yours. I did my part. I supported him. I had two children. A boy to lead after we’re gone and a girl to bring honor to us through her marriage. You had one duty to this family and you’ve failed. You failed us and the Popescu name.”
Her words hit me like a blow to the chest. My breath rattled out. Wow, she was hitting below the belt. I knew how our world worked, but to hear her baldly lay out like that was devastating. I was so much more than a vessel for their stupid honor. Anger flared inside me. I expected her to be upset, but she was being unnecessarily cruel. The irony of it was that I was still marrying into the Lupu clan, and she was still getting her big wedding.
“I’m still going to be a Lupu. I’ll just end up marrying Luca instead of Nicu. And, while you say that love doesn’t matter, I’ll get the same love you have with Tata. Everyone wins.”
“God, how naïve can you be? I don’t even recognize you anymore. Have you been gone so long that you don’t know how things work around here anymore? We’re considered low-class, low-level criminals that somehow, by sheer luck, rose to the top. By marrying royalty like the Lupu, we had a chance to clean up our image. Now, you’ve dragged us down to the gutter once again. No blood bond or lavish wedding is going to stop the whispers, Cat. Whispers calling you a whore and a slut.”
Her voice turned nasally as she mimicked the women, young and old alike, who would gossip. “Look at him, such a fine young man, marrying that whore who opened her legs for him before her marriage. The Jezebel who stole her fiancé’s brother.”
I inhaled a sharp breath, my cheeks flushing with humiliation.
“Enough, Mama,” I snapped.
Ignoring me, she forged onward. “I’m being honest with you, Cat. That’s what everyone will say behind your back. Including every single Lupu you meet.”
“That’s not fair,” I rasped out. “I love him.” My admission triggered a flare of ownership. Luca was mine. He was my man, and I was proud of him.
She barked out a harsh laugh. “Life is not fair. Since when did I ever teach you that life was fair? Was it fair that your father and brother had to become killers to protect what was ours and pull us out of poverty? You speak of love? Pfft. You think a man like that can love you? If he loved you, he would’ve left you alone and insisted you marry his brother as contracted between the families. I’ve heard of this Luca and his reputation. He’s known to be stubborn and selfish.”
Good God. She had a way of tearing me down, of infiltrating my soul and ripping my heart to shreds. For the most part, my mother was loving and supportive, but she had a ruthless side to her. She could assassinate with words.
This happened once before, after I had witnessed my father murdering a man. She was so infuriated that she lashed out, blaming me for having gone downstairs, accusing that I should have known better. You know what your father does, so why were you creeping around downstairs at night? What did you think you were going to see, hmm, Cat?
It was only after months of nightmares, Bunica sleeping on a cot beside my bed, and Tata talking to her, that she finally came around and forgave me for my gaffe.
“You don’t know what Luca is like. You don’t know Alex or how he thinks. He’s accepted this,” I tried to argue.
Unable to hold back any longer, my lip trembled and tears gathered in my eyes.
At that moment, the bedroom door flew open, and Luca stalked in like an avenging berserker. His beautiful silver eyes were ringed in red and lavender. A third bruise blossomed along his jaw. My heart lurched at the sight of the proof of what he’d gone through for me.
He loomed above me, radiating strength and prowess. And anger. “What the hell is going on?”
My stomach did a little flip at the indignation in his tone.
His eyes flicked to my phone. Swiping it out of my hand, he registered who it was and hung up on my mother.
Tossing the phone on the floor, he yanked off his jacket and threw it on the bed. Then he swept me into his strong arms and cooed softly as I wept into his shoulder. Pulling away, I gingerly touched his bruises as tears coursed down my face. I was crying for him, for me, for my mother. With a shushing sound, he pressed my head back into him and rocked me. In the strength of his embrace, I let go and cried until there was only the occasional hiccup.
“What did she say?” he asked in a voice I’d never heard him use before. So soothing and gentle. It would’ve lulled me into a trance if it didn’t prove my mother’s warning that I didn’t know this man. Despite the hours we’d spent together, I didn’t really know him.
Moaning into his shirt, I mumbled out, “She said you were selfish and that you didn’t love me. If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have touched me. You would’ve forced me to marry Nicu. She said that I dishonored the family because I’m not a virgin. None of the Lupu will respect me. They’ll think I’m a whore, and nothing will ever change that.”
