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27
Iwas in my comfy chair, laptop propped on my knees, going over the courses I was hoping to convince Simu to let me audit in the fall. He’d already visited me, and to call it horrible was an understatement. Now that I knew what he was really about, I felt nothing but disgust for him. When he bent down to exchange kisses, I had to force myself not to pull back in revulsion.
Thoughts of Simu led me to Luca, where my mind routinely escaped to avoid the very real scariness of marrying Simu. There was a hole in my heart, especially after the night we spent together. Almost a week had passed since Luca was in my bedroom. I spent my nights in bed, eyes wide open, praying, bargaining, and begging the universe for him to come back, even for one last stolen night, but to no avail.
I gazed out my window. At this time of night, the neighborhood was quiet for once. Other than the swaying branches of trees in the backyard and the occasional passing car blasting music, it was as close to silent as it got in the city. I rubbed my tired eyes. My nightmares had returned and I slept poorly, so my plan was to stay up for as long as I could. Hopefully, I’d be so exhausted, I’d fall into bed and collapse.
Eyes burning with fatigue and sadness, I was staring out into the inky black sky when I heard a scraping noise against the side of the house. What the…? I stilled, my ears perking up. There it was again! Gently putting the laptop down, I crept to the open window. I didn’t have a gun in my room, but I had my lungs and I was ready to use them.
Two hands smacked down on the windowsill. Jumping back, I let out a little screech and covered my mouth. Luca’s face popped up into the frame of the window. Eyes bulging, I stared as he hoisted himself through the narrow opening, crouched on the windowsill, and hopped into my room. Rising to his full height, he loomed over me, a baseball cap casting a shadow over the top half of his face. His black T-shirt fitted over his broad chest, black basketball shorts hugging his thick quads. This time he’d come prepared. My heart fluttered with hope.
“W-why…what are you doing here?” I stammered.
Legs braced shoulder-width apart, he folded his arms across his broad chest and intoned, “You’re not marrying him, Cat. Over my dead fucking body.”
Annoyance flared in my chest. He was here because he was jealous. Was he serious? Mimicking his stance, I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my chin high. “Um…I’m pretty sure you don’t have a say in whom I marry anymore.”
His brows slashed down.
“Like hell I don’t,” he growled. He actually growled. Grabbing my upper arms, he hauled me up against his big warm chest. Normally, I wouldn’t object, but guilty or not, I wasn’t going to let yet another person trample on my life choices. It was one thing to come to me for comfort. It was even understandable if he’d scampered up the side of my house for a booty call. But he had no right to tell me how to live my life. It was mine, and I was just trying to make it through the day.
I had to tip my head far back to lock in on his eyes, but lock on them I did, because he was veering out of his lane, and I was going to be the one to put him in his place. “Honestly, Luca, it’s not like you’re gunning for the position. You threw me out, so you have zero say on how I choose to live my life.”
“Fuck that, I have every right. I blood bonded you, and I don’t see a wedding ring on your finger,” his eyes dipped down to my scantily clad figure, “Hell, I don’t even see an engagement ring. I’ve got dibs. You’re mine.”
I threw my hands up, broke his hold, and stalked away before I gave in to the urge to slap him.
Twisting around, I hissed, “Listen to me and listen closely. I’m sick of being treated like an object that can be tossed around from man to man.”
I jabbed my finger toward the window. “If I had any choice, any choice at all, I’d leave and never return. But since I can’t escape mafie society, I’m trying to do the best I can with the options I have left. I get that I screwed you over. I get that you’re still upset about that, but so help me God, I will not become another toy for you and Simu to fight over. You made it clear you didn’t want me. Now that I’m engaged to him, you want to resurrect a blood bond that meant nothing to you a day ago?”
“Who said it meant nothing to me?” He stormed up to me until we were standing toe to toe. “If you only knew what it means—”
“If that were true, then you wouldn’t have turned your back on it. On me. I understand that I wronged you, but you can’t walk all over me. I’m not going to marry a man who doesn’t want me. That’s a recipe for disaster. I’ve done enough damage, and I’m not looking to add to it.”
It was too painful to watch the various tortured emotions flittering over his face. Tearing my gaze away from him, I begged, “Just go, Luca.”
“No,” he ground out. His finger tucked under my chin, and he turned my head around to face him. “I’m fighting for this. For us. Yes, I admit that when I heard about Simu, I was jealous. Murderously jealous. But that was the least of it. I never stopped loving you, I’m just a stubborn, grudge-bearing asshole. Then Alex gave me an ultimatum that I had to marry you, and that made me retreat even further. I know why you did what you did. I hate lies, but I recently learned that lies can sometimes be forgiven if there’s a foundation of trust. Outside of my family, I’ve never trusted anyone like I have you. Before you, I didn’t think it was possible to care for someone as much, no—even more—than my clan.”
Tears sprang to my eyes. Oh, how desperate I was to hear those words, but I shook my head. “I don’t believe you.”
“Cat, when have I ever lied to you? I’m not saying this simply because you’re engaged to him. Yes, I hate him, and yes, the idea of you with him makes me want to tear him to pieces, but he’s a dangerous motherfucker.”
So noble, my Luca. He felt responsible for me.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and said, “I absolve you of all responsibility, Luca. You don’t have to save me from Simu.”
“Christ, woman, of course I won’t let that fucker touch you, but it’s so much more than that. I’ve been downstairs every night since I last saw you.” My eyes went wide. “I pace under your window, fighting with myself not to climb up and crawl on my hands and knees, begging you to take me back.”
I placed a hand over my heart to stop it from pounding out of my chest. “What stopped you?”
“Fear. Fucking fear that you could hurt me again.” He shook his head. “No, that’s not right. It goes even deeper. I knew you wouldn’t hurt me again. Not on purpose, at least. It’s fear of happiness. When I found you, I found my purpose in life, and when it was snatched away from me, I freaked out. I feared that I didn’t deserve it. When I heard about your engagement, I finally snapped out of this vicious circle of self-pity.”
Whipping his shirt off, he gave me a show of his carved torso. A trail of coarse dusty-blond hair divided his rock-hard abs and vanished into his shorts. He smacked lightly on the tattoo that was covered the other night. I peered closer. It was a portrait of a…woman? I squinted. With gray eyes?
“This is the reason. I’m my mother’s nephew, not her biological son. This woman is my birth mother, but she died after giving birth to me. My so-called father had trouble making babies. My mother took me in, and he hated me for it. All that abuse, Cat? It made me feel like I didn’t deserve what everyone else had. And your betrayal reinforced that belief.”
He cupped my cheek, and his touch zapped me with a charge.
