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“If he were worried, then he would hear what I have to say. He doesn’t care.” The toaster pops, and I pinch the very edge of both pieces and quickly drop them onto my plate. A slow breath leaves my lips, and I turn to face Mom. “I get why he’s upset. I don’t blame him for that. What I can’t get over is him not listening to my side of the story. I don’t know if what I feel for August is love, but it is real, and I’m old enough to make real decisions about my love life.”
Mom cups my cheek, her expression turning earnest. “I know you are, Luna. And so does your father.” I snort and roll my eyes. “He does,” she insists. “But, baby, this man is your teacher, and much older than you. He should have never touched you in that way.”
“But he did, Mom, and I wanted him to.” I lean a hip against the counter. “It was me who came on to him the first time.” Mom’s hand falls from my cheek and her brows pull down into a frown. “And you know what else? He saved me from a boy at school who was touching me when I didn’t want him to.” Her eyes open wide and a look of horror flashes across her face. I continue before she can freak out. “He stopped it before it could really begin. I asked him not to report it because I didn’t want trouble at school, and I didn’t want you guys to find out because I know Dad would go ballistic.”
“With good reason,” Mom says heatedly, anger at someone hurting her daughter peeking out. “You should have told us, Luna.”
“Maybe, but I chose not to.”
“This needs to be reported immediately.”
Her eyes dart around the room like she’s looking for something. I grab her hand and make her look at me again.
“No, Mom. I don’t want to report it. The boy hasn’t messed with me since then. I would prefer to just forget it happened.”
“Luna—” she starts.
“Stop, okay?” I say firmly. “This is my decision.”
She opens her mouth to protest further, but the back door opens, interrupting her. I squeeze her hand, silently begging her to not tell Dad. Her eyes search mine for a moment before she plasters on a smile and walks over to him.
I know she’ll tell him. Mom and Dad don’t keep secrets from each other, something I’ve always admired about their relationship. I just don’t want to be in the room when she does. I need more time to prepare for his reaction.
I turn back to my bagel and slather cream cheese on the two pieces. I feel Dad walk up behind me a moment later. I stiffen when he wraps his arms around me, trapping my arms at my sides. His hug is tight, and it makes my heart hurt. I hate the strain that this has put on our normally close relationship.
Tears prick the back of my eyes, but I force them away. I won’t give in on this. He has to understand this isn’t something I’m willing to let slide.
“I’m sorry that I can’t be sorry for what I did that night.” His breath fans across the top of my head as he talks. “That man deserves a lot more than the two punches I gave him. I’m also sorry that you can’t understand how I feel. As a father, it’s my job to protect you and your mother, and I feel like I failed you.”
I can’t stop the tears sliding down my cheeks now. I can’t even wipe them away because my arms are still trapped.
“Dad,” I whisper, my voice breaking on the one word.
“There is nothing you can say to make me feel otherwise, Luna. Nothing excuses his actions. I know you were a willing participant, but I still blame him. He’s a grown man, damn near old enough to be your father. He’s sick and perverted and should have never put his hands on you, let alone thought about doing it.”
I tense and I reach my hands back to dig my nails into his thighs. Getting my message, Dad lets me go. He takes a step back when I turn around.
“He’s not perverted, Dad. He’s a man who’s attracted to a woman he feels is beautiful.”
“A child,” he barks.
I grind my molars together and push back the anger forming inside me. I need to make him see reason.
“I’m not a child anymore.” I hold my hand up to stop him from interrupting me and his eyes narrow. “I’m an adult now. Yes, I agree that it’s not conventional for an eighteen-year-old to be with a man of his age, but there’s nothing wrong with it, no matter how much you may think so.”
“He’s your fucking teacher, Luna. He’s supposed to protect you from predators like him, not prey on you himself.”
He closes his eyes and works his jaw back and forth. Like he’s trying his best to rein in his temper. When he opens them again, something in them catches my attention. Dad is the typical hard-ass male. Always coming across as someone in control, and never showing any vulnerability. Behind the anger blazing in his eyes is sadness.
It twists my stomach into knots seeing that look.
I grab his hand and bring it up to my face. His fingers flex against my cheek.
“I like him, Dad. I like him a lot. He never, not once, made me feel like he was taking something I wasn’t willing to give. Before we….” I pause, trying to find the right words without setting him off again. “He explicitly asked me if it was what I wanted. He gave me plenty of time to say no. I didn’t, because I didn’t want to. He was what I wanted.” I look at him, imploring him to understand. “I still do.”
His jaw tics, and I know right then, Dad was right. No matter what I say or how I feel, he won’t change his mind.
I drop my eyes from him and look down at my shoes.
