AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chapter Thirty
Niko
It’s beena week since the truth came out and I got my Aislin back. Although it’s been the most painful and tense seven days of my life, it’s also been the best. Having Doe these past few weeks has been wonderful even if I’ve just recently admitted it to myself. Knowing Doe is Aislin, which means having both, is beyond anything I could have imagined.
It’s been hard on us both. Watching her relive her memories over and over again and hearing her recount the parts she remembers and struggle with the parts she doesn’t is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But my pain is nothing compared to hers. She was protected from those horrible years with Mr. Stewart by her memory loss. Now that they are returning, it’s almost like she’s living them again. If I could take them away, even take them on myself, I would without hesitation. I would do anything to take away her pain.
We’re in bed right now, and she’s fast asleep in my arms. I stare up at the ceiling as I think about the morning after everything went down. Aislin and I came back to my place. Not wanting her out of my sight, I was worried she would want to go next door, so it was a surprise when she asked to stay here…
Betsy greets us the minute we walk in the door. Doe bends and throws her arms around the canine, burying her face in the hair on her neck. She murmurs quietly, so low I can’t make out what she says. When she lifts her head from the dog and looks up at me, tears are swimming in her eyes. A fierce pain pierces my chest.
I hold my hand out to her. “Come on,” I grunt past the pain. “You need to get some sleep.”
She grabs my hand, and I pull her to her feet. When I start leading her to the back door, she pulls me to a stop by my hand.
“Do you think it would be okay if I stayed here tonight?” she asks timidly.
My fingers tighten around hers with her uncertain question. The reason I moved her next door was because I didn’t want to scare her with my nightmares. While I can’t know for sure, I have a feeling I won’t be having them anymore. Even so, I want to remind her of the risk.
“And if I wake you having a nightmare?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t care. I’m not ready to be away from you.”
I nod because that’s all I can do. Her words leave my throat feeling tight.
Having her in my arms while we sleep, knowing I’ll wake with her scent surrounding me, is something I didn’t realize I desperately wanted until just now.
“Okay.”
Her relieved smile has my own lips tipping up. I lead us away from the back door and down the hallway to my bedroom. I flip on the switch, and she stops just inside the doorway to look around. She hasn’t been in this room since that first night, and it was dark. I watch as she takes in the room. Her eyes dart from the massive king-size bed, to the small tables on either side, to the bay window that still carries the pillows Mom made years ago, to the chest of drawers and the small writing desk beside it. When her eyes land on the bed, I see her throat bob when she swallows.
I move so I’m standing in front of her and take her hand in mine.
“I can sleep in the spare room,” I inform her quietly.
She chews her bottom lip for a moment before she responds. “No. I want us both to sleep there.” She points her eyes to the bed.
“If that’s what you want.”
After she gives me a small nod, I release her hand and move to my chest of drawers. I pull out two pairs of sweatpants, a long-sleeved shirt, and a V-neck for me. I hand one pair of sweats to her and the long sleeve.
“Go get dressed. I’ll be here when you get done.”
Once the bathroom door closes, I go to the hall bathroom and change, leaving the dirty clothes behind on the floor. I’m pulling back the covers on the bed when the door opens. I turn around to face her. She looks so small and uncertain standing there in my oversized clothes. I have to admit, though, I love seeing her in them. It warms something deep inside me.
I hold out my hand. “Come here, North.”
Her breath catches at the use of her nickname, but after a moment, she steps forward. She crawls into bed to the middle, and I follow. As soon as I’m settled, she scoots closer to me. My arm wraps around her middle, and her head rests on my chest with her hand tucked beneath her cheek. Her body isn’t tucked as close to mine as I would like, but she’s not really keeping much distance between us either. If it were up to me, there wouldn’t be a spare inch of space between us, but I don’t want to do anything she’s not comfortable with. I let her settle as close as she wants.
“Sleep, Aislin,” I murmur against the top of her head.
“Good night, Niko,” she says back sleepily.
Every night since then, she’s slept in my bed, and I’m not sure if I could have willingly had it any other way. To be honest, any time she’s not in the same room as I am, panic has my chest squeezing tight, afraid it was all a dream and she’s not really here. I told Capt that I was taking some time off, and he agreed without hesitation, but I know I’ll have to go back eventually. I’m already not looking forward to it, and I know it’ll be hard on us both. I called Tavers and had him ask Mindy if she wouldn’t mind coming by for the first few days to keep her company. She said she had plans to even before I asked. God, I love that woman.
A couple of days after everything happened, Aislin asked about her mom. Even though I couldn’t stand the bitch for what she put Aislin through as a child, I still understand why Aislin wanted to find her. She’s her mother, and a child never forgets that. I had Tavers look into finding her, but apparently, the woman doesn’t want to be found because he’s had no luck. When I told Aislin the news, I expected her to be sad, but she wasn’t. There was no emotion in her at all.
I look down when Aislin whimpers and her legs move against mine restlessly. From the moonlight filtering through the window, I see the frown on her face. Her breaths come in pants, and her lips purse. This isn’t the first time she’s had a nightmare over the past week, and each one has my heart feeling like it’s being stabbed repeatedly with a dull knife.
