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My dear dog followed Doe to the other house, so I grab the bag of snacks and the clothes she packed for me and lock up. I reach the back door to the house next door as it flies open.
Doe steps out with a heavy looking duffle slung over her shoulder and Betsy hot on her heels. “Ready,” she huffs.
I tug the bag from her hands as she looks at me with confusion, and I replace it with the snack bag. “Carry this for me and set it inside the truck, yeah? I’ll take these. I’m just going to lock up.”
She calls Betsy, and the two of them walk off like the perfect pair. She only throws one glance over her shoulder before hastening to my truck.
I miss the lock twice because my hand is shaking. Closing my eyes, I drop my chin to my chest and take a deep, cleansing breath. I can’t get us there safely if I’m wound up the entire drive down. I need to relax. I just don’t know how when Dad is in surgery hundreds of miles away, Mom is all alone in a hospital waiting room, and both my siblings are hopping flights in the middle of the night. I can’t lose another person who means everything to me. I know I alienated myself from my family after I lost Aislin, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them and miss them. I still call my parents frequently, and they call me. And it fucking kills me that it takes Dad having a heart attack for me to realize that since I moved back here, I’ve been more distant. I’ve been so goddamned focused on solving Aislin’s homicide—the sleepless nights, the countless dead ends, the other cases, Doe—my thoughts stop on her name. I don’t… I can’t remember when I started being so consumed by her as well. I can’t deny that a part of me beats with the same vengeance it does for Aislin. That I want to catch the sick bastard responsible for hurting her as well. That I don’t know if I can just walk away and leave Doe’s case unresolved when I solve Aislin’s.
What I do know is when all this is settled… when I finally catch the monster responsible for Aislin and, shit, possibly the one responsible for the hell Doe’s endured, I’m going to be a better son. And brother. I fucking promise, even if it’s only between me, the universe, and a God I’m not sure even exists.
I fucking promise.
Betsy and the bags are in the back of the cab while Doe’s curled up on the passenger seat. She kicked her shoes off and tucked her bare feet on the seat beside her. Her head rests against the window with her fingers entwined beneath her cheek. She’s turned toward me, though, watching as I fire the engine and back us quickly out of the driveway. I point the truck toward the highway and attempt to settle myself in for the long drive.
I turn on some quiet music, using it to fill the silence in the background. “I won’t need gas for about two hundred miles or so. Do you need anything before then? I have a few bottles of water and some cheese for snacks.”
“No thanks,” she mutters and then lets out a huge yawn.
Ah, fuck. I knew she was beat earlier. All that’s happened since must have drained the rest of the energy right out of her. Adrenaline in the moment can only keep a person up for so long before it’s time to crash.
“You can rest. No use in staying awake in the middle of the night. We have a long drive ahead of us.”
She shifts, turning her head back the other direction, and settles in. “That’s a good idea. Wake me…wake me if you need anything?” Her voice sounds like a question as she lets out another yawn.
My lips twitch, but nothing more. My life has taken a serious turn, and I’m too damn tired to smile.
I drive through the night while Doe sleeps beside me. Though I can’t say it’s been a quiet trip. Her moans sound again, and she thrashes in her seat. Betsy whimpers from behind us and sticks her nose near Doe’s face. I can’t tell from the driver’s seat if my dog is touching her, but her closeness must comfort Doe some because she quiets. They’ve been doing this dance all night.
With the first few whimpers, I attempted to wake her, but Doe kicked me in the ribs so hard I nearly rolled the truck. Even though my ribs sting like a bitch, I can’t help feeling some pride at her reaction speed, even in her restless sleep. After that, I tried not to touch her even though it was painful listening to her. The dog’s instincts must have kicked in, and she took over trying to provide comfort; something that Doe tolerated.
I’ve stopped twice for gas, and neither time did Doe wake. We just left the second station in Virginia before crossing state lines into North Carolina. I debated with myself when I realized I needed an extra-large coffee to keep me going. Do I wake her and bring her in with me or leave her with Betsy in the car? What if she wakes up alone and frightened? What if someone sees her and bothers her? In the end, my need for caffeine won out, and I booked it in and out of the gas station in record time. I even used cash so as not to wait for the machine, leaving my change with the cashier as he hollered at my back.
Now, we’re driving through North Carolina, and the sun is beginning to rapidly rise. Doe stirs again, briefly drawing my attention. Her head rests against her hand near the window with her elbow propped against the door. I glance that way with a small smile on my face at her breathy whimper, but what I see causes my mouth to tighten.
Aislin’s bracelet.
The early morning sun glints off a shiny piece of the plastic. It looks perfectly natural on her, barring the fact it’s a child’s bracelet, but to any other person in the world, they’d never guess the meaning it holds. The memories. What surprises me is my own reaction. The pain in my chest doesn’t follow, nor do I want to shake her awake and demand she take it off. It could be that my father’s health and getting to my mother are more pressing. Or, just maybe, I don’t mind so much. I flick my gaze back over to her before looking back at the road. I’m not going to ask her to take it off. With everything going on, there’s a good chance I’d misplace it and lose it forever. This way, at least I know where it is, and something tells me that Doe will keep it safe. She saw my reaction when I first noticed her wearing it, so she knows it means something to me. Regardless that I haven’t known her very long, I trust her to keep it on and not lose it. Something tells me she isn’t used to having possessions of her own, and she’ll cherish it.
I can’t stop my gaze from drifting back over to the bracelet again, but this time, her pretty eyes are wide open and staring at me. I’m slightly startled but still manage a gruff, “Good morning.”
She straightens in her seat. “Good morning.”
I reach down into the bag near her feet and pull out a bottle of water and two string cheeses, handing them to her. “We’ll stop soon for breakfast. You can start on this.”
She nods, setting the cheese down and uncapping the water. After a long pull, she sets the bottle into the cup holder and reaches back to scruff Betsy’s ears.
“Doe,” I say low but gently, waiting until I have her attention to continue. “Eat the cheese.”
Her hand immediately goes to one of the sticks, and she unwraps it. She often forgets to eat. I haven’t pushed it to ask if it’s because she never feels hungry or if she’s not used to scheduled meals. But it fucking destroys me to see her so tiny and not feed herself. Those first few days leaving her alone when I went to work were terrifying for that small fact. I wound up calling her every couple of hours to remind her to eat something, going as far as to leave several premade options in the refrigerator. For the most part, she’s pretty compliant when I ask, so I think it’s the latter. She simply forgets to nourish herself.
“Good girl,” I murmur quietly, not wanting to sound patronizing but wanting her to know it pleases me to see her take care of herself.
“Have you ever traveled before?” I can feel her quizzical stare without looking at her.
She swallows a drink of water before answering. “I can’t remember.”
“You have now. When this trip is through, you’ll have visited six states. Maybe on the way back, we can stop and explore a couple of them.”
