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19
Trent
Two weeks have passed since Ally and I first talked about adopting Erica. At first I was worried we were making a rash decision because our emotions were so high after seeing Erica and her hopelessness. I’ve thought long and hard the last two weeks, and the more I do, the more right it feels.
We’ve seen Erica three times since that day, and each time we do, Erica’s face lights up. So does Ally’s. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen Ally this happy, which solidifies my belief that what we’re doing is right.
We made our decision based on virtually no information on the girl and what her prognosis is. We don’t even know what type of cancer she has. None of that matters though. We simply want to give Erica a life she can happily enjoy, whether that life is years long, or only months.
We talked on a Monday, and by that Thursday, we had pulled Mrs. Miller to the side, after Ally’s appointment and while Erica was getting her chemo, and explained what we wanted to do. Mrs. Miller was reluctant to give away any information at first, but when she saw the passion in Ally’s eyes, she realized how serious we were.
Ally’s hand gripped mine tightly, and I felt her stiffen when Mrs. Miller said Erica had leukemia. Our choice felt even more right hearing that news. Erica’s leukemia was aggressive, and while the doctors felt she had a good chance of it going into remission after extensive chemo and radiation, there was still a chance it might not. Her mother had the same type of leukemia when Erica was a baby. Her own treatments weren’t enough to fight the disease, and she died when Erica was three after fighting for two years.
We haven’t told Erica about our decision, not wanting to get her hopes up. There’s still the possibility that Ally’s treatments might not work. Or we may not get approved for the adoption. The process of adoption is long and can be drawn out for months. There are also a lot of hoops you have to jump through. But we’re both determined.
Ally has two weeks left and then another two weeks before her doctor will run tests to see if the leukemia is still in her system. I’ve never been much for prayer, but every night since I found out my wife was sick again, I’ve lain in bed and silently begged God to let Ally beat the disease for a third time. I can’t let myself think of the alternative. If I do, I’ll break down. Ally needs me strong, not on the verge of losing my shit.
Looking through the crowded area, I spot Ally, Ashlyn, and Destiny over by the flamingo enclosure. I woke up this morning with Destiny standing beside our bed, bouncing on her heels, her smiling face only inches from Ally’s. I couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped free seeing the impatience on the little girl’s face as she waited for Ally to wake up. My chuckle woke Ally, and she smiled at Destiny. This wasn’t the first time she’s woken us up. She’s slipped by her parents’ notice several times.
“We’re going to the zoo this afternoon,” Destiny said excitedly. “You wanna go?”
There was no way Ally would tell her no, no matter how tired she’s been feeling lately. The little girl’s face looked too sweet to not give into her. She glanced at me over her shoulder, and I gave her a nod.
“We would love to go,” Ally told her, which earned us a bigger grin.
Instead of coming home after Ally’s treatment, only to go out again, we met them at the zoo. That was a couple of hours ago. I keep a close watch on Ally, making sure she isn’t getting too tired.
Dillon and I stand back and watch the three girls as Destiny fawns over the pink birds. She giggles and points to one that keeps shifting from one leg to the other, always keeping one tucked up.
“How much you want to bet she’ll want to take one home?” Dillon comments wryly.
“I’ll skip that bet,” I answer with a laugh. She’s already asked if she can have a baby monkey and a wolf.
Dillon stuffs his hands into his pockets and rocks back on his heels. “Looks like you’ll be going through the same thing here soon.”
Although we haven’t told our family and friends back home about our plans to try to adopt Erica, Ally wanted to tell Dillon and Ashlyn. In her excitement, she said she needed to talk to someone about it.
“If everything goes to plan, it looks like we will.”
“It’s a big step.”
I look over at him at his quiet words. “Yeah.” I look back at Ally, a smile touching my face when she bends to listen to something Ashlyn says to her.
“She’ll be a good mother.”
He’s not telling me anything I don’t already know.
Between family and friends, we have a lot of kids in our group. I can’t count how many times I’ve watched Ally with one of them and wished I could give her one of our own. She’s exceptionally patient and has a ton of love to give.
“You ever think about giving Destiny a little brother or sister?” I ask.
“Maybe. Ashlyn and I have talked about it before, but haven’t made the decision yet.”
A little boy around Destiny’s age wedges his way between the kids and parents hovering around the fence. He comes to a stop beside Destiny. The little boy smiles over at her, and she smiles back. He says something to her, which makes her giggle.
“Now that’s one thing I’m not looking forward to,” I comment.
I look over when Dillon doesn’t say anything and have to force back a laugh at the look on his face. He looks seconds away from grabbing the kid by the back of his shirt and tossing him away. As funny as it is though, I can’t blame the guy. I’ll be protective of any child of mine, but more so a little girl.
