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“Mrs. Weston, how are you feeling?”
All I want to do is have Trent wrap me in his protective embrace and tell me it’s not true. With effort, I turn my head away from him to the doctor I didn’t realize was on the other side of my bed.
“What happened?” I manage to choke out past the lump in my throat.
“I’m Dr. Sinclair, one of the attending physicians here in the emergency department. I’m so sorry to say, but you had a miscarriage.”
Blindly, I reach back for Trent’s hand. Feeling his palm against mine is only marginally comforting.
“How is that possible?” Trent asks when I’m unable to form words. “Her doctors informed us that with the amount of radiation and chemo she’s had over the years, she should never be able to get pregnant.”
“I’ve been in touch with your doctor in Jaded Hollow, and he sent your records over. I’m not sure how in depth he was when he spoke with you both about infertility. When Mrs. Weston was a child and went through chemotherapy and radiation, the eggs cells that her body stored were damaged from the chemicals. While the chances of some of the cells surviving is miniscule, there is still a chance.”
I unlock my jaw, afraid to ask the next question. “Could I get pregnant again? And if so, what are the chances of me carrying full term?”
The somber smile on the older man’s face says it all. “I’m afraid to say that if by some miracle you do have any surviving eggs left, they would be defective. I believe that’s what happened this morning. The fertilized egg that traveled to your uterus wasn’t healthy and your body took the natural course of expelling it.”
I nod and more tears slip down my cheeks.
“I’m so sorry I don’t have better news for you both. With the pregnancy being in such an early stage, which I’m guessing you were around four weeks along, if you’re still in pain, it should fade over the next few hours. The bleeding should stop within a few days.”
“Thank you, Dr. Sinclair,” Trent says gruffly.
“A nurse should be in shortly with your discharge papers and instructions. If you experience any sharp pains or the bleeding becomes worse, there’s a number on the paper for you to call. I’m faxing over your records to Dr. Warren and Dr. Fowler.” He reaches over and pats my limp hand lying by my hip. “I truly am sorry.”
A hollow pit forms in my stomach as I blankly stare at the space where the doctor was just standing.
“Ally?”
Trent’s hoarse voice comes from over my shoulder. I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to face him.
Having a baby was never an option for us, so hearing I was pregnant and lost our child shouldn’t be so hard. Nothing is different. It’s just the same as it was before I woke up in pain. But it does feel different, like something precious was ripped from my grasp.
“Ally, baby.”
Feeling Trent’s gentle fingers on my chin as he turns my face toward him, I open my eyes.
“It’s stupid to feel so empty, isn’t it?” I ask.
“No, baby.” He sits on the side of the bed, then leans back, turning on his side to face me. “It’s not stupid at all.” My heart breaks even more when a lone tear falls from the corner of his eye. “It just wasn’t meant to be.”
I nod.
Bringing his face closer, he presses the softest of kisses against my lips before he tucks my face into his neck.
We wait for the nurse to come in and release me, neither of us saying anything—there’s nothing to be said.
* * *
I tuckmy feet underneath me on the couch and clutch the warm coffee cup between both of my hands. The couch dips as Ashlyn takes the cushion beside me.
“How are you feeling?” she asks quietly.
I shrug and bring the cup to my lips, uncaring that the hot liquid scalds my tongue. “I’m okay.” I look at her. “I didn’t even know I was pregnant before I lost our baby.”
“Oh, Ally. I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could do for you.”
I think about my mom, and as I have many times over the years, I wish she were here. We haven’t told our family yet. It’s not something we want to do over the phone. While Trent has been attentive and very supportive the last few days, nothing is as soothing as having your mom’s shoulder to cry on when you need her.
