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Chapter Seven
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Charlie
"Don't." His word lingers in the air and coldness creeps over me. Oh shit, I think I did something wrong. "Don't touch me, babydoll, unless you want to go all the way. I won't be able to hold myself back."
His words make me shiver. I understand what he's telling me.
"I just need to get off real quick and then I'll make sure you're taken care of again. I just need some time, sweet girl."
I stare into his eyes and something shifts between the two of us.
"We can just...we don't have to go all the way today. We can..." I stop him by reaching up with my other hand and brushing my fingertips across the top of his dick. My fingers come away sticky and wet. "God damn it, Charlie. I'm trying to do the right thing for you."
"What if I want to...go all the way with you? What if I don't want us just touching and fondling? What if I want more?" I use the lubrication of his precum and grasp onto him above his hand.
"What if I don't want you to do the right thing - the thing that everyone else says is the right thing? What if I want you to show me all of you, every part?"
"Charlie, do you have any idea what you’re asking?"
I look back at him just as seriously, "I'm asking you...," I take a moment because this is a big moment for me, "to show me. Show me how...to make love. Tell me I'm someone you want to be with."
He falls on top of me, pulling me into his arms. Our bodies brush against one another causing me to shiver. "Fuck, baby, if you were any sexier, any more beautiful I wouldn't be able to handle it." His mouth takes mine in a hard kiss. "I'd fucking steal you and take you somewhere far away so it would just be you and me and no one else could get a chance to be around you. You...you undo me!"
His cock slides against my slippery outer lips, spreading me apart and causing me to gasp out loud. "And when I come back together, I'm a different man. A better man. You make me the man I've always wanted to be god damn it."
He stops when his cock catches on the entrance to my pussy. We stare at one another as he slips little by little into me. My body opens for him, spreading for him, making his way easier by growing wetter. Even then it takes him a minute to push just a couple of inches inside of me. Both of us are breathing harder and faster but neither one of us breaks eye contact.
He's eaten my pussy, I've cum on his face and yet this is the most intimate thing - this look we are sharing between the two of us. I maintain it until the widest part of his cock slides in. It causes me to gasp out and arch up into him. He maintains control and doesn't let me push him in any further.
"Get used to what's inside of you. We have all the time in the world, baby doll."
I rock my hips, or try to, but he has too good a grasp on me. All I can do is cry out and hold onto him. And beg him to give me more. "Please. Please Bastian."
"Fuck!" He slips more in, and I can feel him nudge something inside of me. "Baby, this is going to hurt, and I hate that. If I could find a way for it not to hurt, I would."
God, he is making me fall in love with him, taking such good care of me. "Please. Bastian, I need this. I need you!"
He thrusts forward and the movement takes my breath from me. It takes a little while for the pain to really hit me. When it does, I sink my nails into his back and hold on tight. He’s not moving. He stays still and brushes the hair back from my cheeks. It takes a few seconds before I realize I have tears standing in my eyes and one of them escapes down my temple.
It's not because of the pain. It has nothing to do with pain or even the physical. I've never been this close to another person before in my life. I've never experienced this pairing, this bonding that seems to be happening. This is more than just our bodies. Does he feel it too? Does he realize what is happening? Or is this one-sided?
"Oh baby, don't. Don't cry. You're breaking me." His thumb drops down between us and he starts playing with my clit. He kisses all over my face and down my neck, licking away my tears in an almost primal way. I have to choke down the words that want to fall out. I want to scream at him that I feel like I'm in love with him. Like this is changing me forever. I'll never be the same.
"Bastian...," my breath catches and I have to pant it out.
"Shh, baby doll. Don't say anything." His mouth lands on mine and he kisses me into a climax. It's so different having him inside of me when I cum that the very sensation of it causes me to cum harder. He lays his lips against the rim of my ear, "I feel it too. I understand."
I wrap my legs around him and pull him even closer to me. I know he asked me not to say anything but I have to. I have to say it. It might be the wrong thing to say but I have to get it out. "I love you, Bastain."
And then my world goes supernova bright. My body seizes up around his long shaft that has been slowly gliding in and out of me faster and faster, hitting a spot in me that makes my thighs shake. Warmth splashes into me but I'm too far gone to understand what it is or what it means. For the first time in my life, I feel settled. I feel like I don't have to control anything. Like I can rest and let this life, this world, take me where it wants to. And it feels amazing.
***
I'm afraid to open my eyes. I've been here before. Waking up in the bed alone. I already know I'm alone because I've swept my hand out and the sheets where he is supposed to be isn't warm any longer. I could cry. I will cry this time.
When I finally work up the nerve to open them a glint almost blinds me. It wakes me up faster and has me raising my head maybe a little too fast. My head seems to be swirling trying to make sense of what is going on.
