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“He’s in the common room. If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to him.”
I nod and a smile creeps across my face. I lace my fingers with Tegan’s, and we follow Patty down a hallway, through a door, across another hallway, then come to a stop at a set of double doors.
The doors and walls around it are made of glass, so I can see inside the room clearly. My hand tightens in Tegan’s and my breath catches. Tears immediately hit my eyes, and I try so hard to force them back, but I feel one slide down my cheek. I’m rooted in place as I watch my brother, the brother that looks nothing like the man I saw two weeks ago and now looks more like the wonderful man I used to know, sitting on a couch watching some stand-up comedy, laughing. He looks a lot better, healthier. He’s no longer pale, and the gauntness is gone from his face. It also looks like he’s put on a little weight. He still has a long way to go, but he doesn’t have that half-dead look anymore.
Patty pushes open one of the doors and it grabs his attention. His smile is still in place when he looks over and spots us standing there. I hold my breath as his gaze meets mine. The smile slips from his face and pain replaces it, which makes my stomach plummet. My hand flies to my mouth to stifle the sob that wants to break free.
“You okay?” Tegan asks beside me. “We can do this another time.”
I swallow, and without taking my eyes off Bryan, nod. “I’m okay.” Taking a deep breath, I take a step forward. Bryan stands and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his black cargo pants. I take two more steps and he drops his head for a moment, before lifting it again. Tears glisten in his eyes.
Not able to stand the distance anymore, I release Tegan’s hand and run the rest of the way to my brother. His hands come out of his pockets right as I reach him. He catches me, and I wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face against his chest.
“Lo,” he whispers brokenly, which only makes my own tears flow faster.
My brother was always so big and full of life. He was one of the strongest men I knew and someone I looked up to growing up. Someone I admired. It broke something inside me when he pushed me away like he did after our dad died, and that something splintered into pieces when I saw him two weeks ago in Minnie’s backyard.
Seeing him now, hearing the hitch of his breath as he fights his emotions, and feeling his strong arms around me, I can finally breathe again without it hurting so much.
He holds me for several long moments as I cry against his chest.
I pull back, wipe my eyes, then look up at him. He looks down at me, and I can see so much of him has changed. I still see sadness lurking in his eyes, but there’s also a new light.
“How are you?” I keep my voice low, because if I go any louder it’ll come out all wobbly.
One corner of his mouth quirks up, and it makes my chest feel even lighter.
“I’m a lot better,” he answers.
“That’s good. I’ve missed you, Bryan.” Tears threaten again, but this time I’m able to force them back.
He puts his forehead to mine, closes his eyes, and breathes, “I’ve missed you too.” He opens his eyes again and the pain in their depths is stronger. “I’m so damn sorry.”
I lean up and kiss his cheek, then pull back. “No more apologies. It’s behind us. Just get better. I just want my brother back.”
He nods and squeezes his eyes closed for several seconds. When he opens them, he looks over my shoulder. I turn and look as well to find Tegan several steps behind me. He’s watching our exchange with vigilant eyes. I feel Bryan stand up straighter, and he moves me aside so he can step up to Tegan.
He holds out his hand. “I know we met a couple weeks ago, but I’d like to start over. I’m Bryan.”
I hold my breath as Tegan looks down at his hand, making no move to take it. His eyes flicker to mine and the animosity disappears. They soften as he takes in my hopeful expression. They travel back to Bryan, and he slowly lifts his hand, grasping Bryan’s in a firm grip, shaking it twice, then letting go.
“Tegan” is all he says. It’s more than I hoped for.
“Thank you,” Bryan says. He looks to the side, clears his throat, then looks back at Tegan. “Thank you for everything. But thank you especially for taking care of my sister.”
Tegan gives him a terse nod.
Relieved that one of the men I love most in the world is on the mend, and the other isn’t threatening to kill him, I grab Bryan’s hand and drag him over to the couch. I pull him down beside me and keep his hand in mine. I ask him all kinds of questions. How his treatments are going. If the doctors and nurses are nice. If he’s in pain. If the food is good.
He answers each of my questions without reservation. I’ve learned through research that the first few days of drug withdrawal are some of the hardest. He confirmed this when he told me the pain he went through. I’m incredibly proud of him for sticking with it, and I tell him as much, which earns me a brilliant smile.
Tegan stays off to the side, watching us, but giving us time to reacquaint with each other. I’m still worried he may relapse, but I haven’t seen my brother this alive since before our dad died, so I’m very hopeful. It’s not me that brings up the subject of our dad, but him. I was avoiding it because I was worried it would upset him too much. Pain flashes in his eyes, but finally, for the first time, we talk about Dad’s death, and about Bryan’s regret for not being there for me and our mom. More tears gather in his eyes when he apologizes for not coming to our mom’s funeral, and we make plans to go home for a visit and go to her grave.
We both cry again in each other’s arms, but it’s a good cry. It’s a healing cry. Something we should have done a long time ago.
By the time our visit is over, I don’t want to leave. I want to stay with him and continue talking, but I know visiting hours are winding down.
Bryan walks us out to the front, then pulls me into a tight hug.
“Come back soon,” he murmurs against my hair.
