Page 78 of Not Kissing Nick


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“That Nova had felt safe enough to know she could ask him for his help. Or tell him there was a problem. That’s what he wants most of all. You two to know that you are safe with him—even when you mess up. Or even when he messes up. That’s going to happen, too.” There was still a bit of fear in his blue eyes. These kids…they’d lived with fear long enough. “I was kind of scared today, too.”

His eyes widened. “Why? Because of the toilet?”

“No. When my husband…before…sometimes when something like that would happen—he’d get really, really angry. And whoever was closest would make him even madder. He’d take his anger out on us. It wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair. No one should lash out from anger, Noah. It isn’t right. I was afraid Nick would be like that today—even though in my head I know Nick isn’t like that. I’ve known that since I was around your age. But because that was what I was used to from a man back when I was married, a part of me was waiting for it to happen today, too. It’s called a conditioned response. Like…when something happens over and over, we just learn to expect it. We just…learn to wait for that—to be afraid and nervous. Even when logic tells us it won’t happen.”

Like…she knew a relationship between her and Nick would be far different than what she’d experienced with Doug. It was time she let herself believe that, too.

“Mom did that all the time. Yell at us, especially Nova. Every day. I don’t know why she did that. I tried to keep Nova away from her all the time. She was always mad at Nova. Said she ruined everything, over and over. I don’t know what she meant. Sometimes…sometimes she would say that she lost the only man she had ever loved because she was pregnant with Nova. But I don’t think she meant it was Nick. One time she said it was another man’s baby, and he was really mad at her and just…left. That Nova had ruined everything.”

Robin forced the anger down at his words. Anger…anger didn’t help anyone heal. She knew that.

“I think, deep down, your mom was just hurting and angry. And took it out on the two of you—because you were there. And wouldn’t leave her. Not thinking that it would hurt you so much. It wasn’t right, but…I’m sure she loved you both in her way. Always remember that, ok.”

Noah just nodded. “So Nick’s not mad at Nova?”

“Nope. He wasn’t when I called a few minutes ago. He was far more worried about whether Nova was ok than that silly toilet. Toilets break—but a parent’s kids are their kids forever. You guys mean far more to us than a silly toilet. I can promise that. Otherwise…with all the stuff my boys have done in nine years…well, I’d have sent them to Siberia long ago. Or maybe…Mars would be far enough away.”

“Yeah. They are kind of dorks. No offense.”

He sent her a smile that shot straight to her heart.

Robin laughed. “None taken.”

“You…I’m really glad you’re Nick’s girlfriend. And can help him. Sometimes I think he gets a bit overwhelmed. Especially by Nova. The guy can be kind of clueless.”

“Yeah. He always could. One reason I fell so hard for him twenty years ago. I’m going to take him a plate of fried chicken and macaroni and cheese. One of us will come get you later, or Phil will drive you home. I just wanted to ask if you’d check on Nova when you can. Make sure she’s ok—and remembers that Nick—and I—love her and you very much. No matter how many toilets you guys make explode. I promise.”

To her surprise, skinny boy arms went around her and he hugged her, hard.

Robin just hugged him right back.

Until he jerked away, like he’d surprised even himself.

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