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I believe the common denominator of the Universe is not harmony, but chaos, hostility and murder
WERNER HERZOG
Iwas pushed on stage toward the barely visible outline of a large metal pole that emerged from the floor and almost touched the bank of lights in the ceiling.
I stumbled in the sky-high heels as they weren’t something I usually wore. This was Bellz’s comfort zone, not mine. The string of the barely-there bikini thong was being eaten by my ass and my tits were more out of the bra than in. This was not good. What the fuck did I know about pole dancing? Sure, I had watched Bellz more times than not dance around her studio apartment and swing her body from the one in her room. But watching and doing are two different things. I had dabbled and left it at that.
I glanced back to the side of the stage where two burly men, arms crossed across thick chests, were watching with the eyes of hawks. Yeah, there was no escaping the fucked-up situation.
Think, Brenyn, think
Bishop Bridge’s song“River” came through the speakers loud and clear, and I held the pole as Kitty had instructed. Blinding spotlights dripped light over me as I stood for a moment like a deer caught in the headlights. I heard men jeering, whistling, and clapping—it made my skin crawl.
I was trapped. This was it. I tried to recall what I’d seen in movies when there had been a pole dancing scene, and Bellz wrapping herself around the pole like it was an extension of her when the drugs inside her body took control and she just let go. Kitty came onto the stage, her lips met my ear and she whispered, “Here, go with it. He’s watching you dance like only you can.” Her mouth moved from my ear to my lips. “Open up,” she whispered over them. I did as I was told, my heart hammering hard in my chest.
“That’s it, Bre, now feel.”I heard Bellz’s voice in my ears and Kitty pushed something from her tongue to mine. She kissed me lightly but with fire on her lips. I leaned forward and into it. Her index finger moved to close my jaw, winking at me.
“Dance for him, Enigma.” She spun and walked from the stage, her hips swaying, and I swallowed the tiny little pill on the tip of my tongue, took a deep breath and launched myself onto the pole. They wanted the dancer called Enigma, he wanted a show and I wanted to be free from the Princeton stereotype and rich girl inside daddy’s world label. I wrapped both legs around the slippery metal. Thank fuck for resin, which enabled my thighs to stay put, as I leaned back with my arms outstretched. I held the position for a moment before grabbing on and spinning myself upside down. Again, I gripped the pole between my thighs, extended my arms, and slid to the floor. The men were going wild and although it creeped me out, it gave me the confidence to try even more. To dig darker inside and let go.“Let go.”Bellz’s voice clung to my skin, dancing down my spine. My soul was on fire, and I felt like I was suspended in the air.
When my head hit the wooden floor, I spun myself upright and walked back and forth across the stage, stopping now and again with my legs spread and lowering my ass almost to the floor. I pulled my body up drawing my fingers over the stage in front of me. Pressing my ass out arching my back, I gave the man sitting at the bar a head nod, then jutted out my lip. He’s all things dangerous and Bellz’s type, wrapped in a designer suit, silk tie and haunted eyes that burned through me in a way that made me feel on fire. Gave me a dangerous chill in a sexually dependant way. My arm wrapped in front of my chest, I lowered my other hand over it, pulled it back and cocked it like a handgun in time to the gun shots in the song. I pointed it right at the dark man who was sucking my soul from my body with just his eyes. It’s like I’ve stopped breathing but I’m completely aware that he could kill me slowly and I would absolutely get off on it. An evil smirk rose over his lips as he sipped a dark amber liquid over ice. He held the crystal glass in his hands, his knuckle’s white from clenching them. The fog machine blew more fog around me in a hiss and after a few passes, I winked at him as I leapt back onto the pole and worked my way higher. Once near the top, I held the pole with one knee, stretched out the other leg and both arms as I rotated back to the floor.
When the music ended, I stood by the pole listening to deafening catcalls and whistles from the men. When the house lights flashed on and I saw my audience, nausea crept up my throat. The men were unkempt for the most part, with soft bodies and beer bellies. Some leered, showing gaps in their teeth as they approached the stage. I needed to get off this stage and leave the smells and the eyes. I wanted to unzip my on-fire skin and step out of it into the chill of the late summer night’s air. Anxiety swallowed me and I fled to the dressing room. Kitty sat in a cotton candy swivel chair, her legs in ripped fish nets which were crossed over each other and a Marlboro Light cigarette hang from her fingers. “Well, aren’t you a pleasant surprise.” Her eyes shone in amazement matching the feeling inside of me laced with whatever the fuck that little pill was.
“Who are you?” she questioned me. I stepped closer, placing my hands on either side of her on the arm rests.
“I can be anyone you want me to be,” I answered, kissing just under her earlobe. Her body shivered. Goose bumps rippled like wild fire over her skin. Pushing myself back up, I walked to the table behind her and grabbed my clothes I had been stripped of when I entered.
“You’re hired. Every night from 10 your main set starts. From 11, you will be booked for privates.” I threw my head over my right shoulder and her crystal-blue eyes met mine.
I winked at her and threw up the peace sign. I felt… well, I didn’t feel at all, and I liked it.
