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15
I don’t get in the car.
I’m not new.
“What are you doing?” Braxton calls from somewhere behind me.
I imagine his face is still astonishingly beautiful even in a state of outrage, but I don’t turn around to confirm it.
What I’m doing is heading home. I need to see my mom. Need to know for sure that it wasn’t a forgery, that she really did sign my life away to the world’s richest recluse.
My sneakers pound hard against the pavement. It’s getting warm, but that doesn’t prevent me from lifting my hood and burying my hands deep in my pockets.
When I pass a building I recognize as Arcana, I veer toward it. Only to find the entry is shuttered and a For Lease sign hangs in the window. I squint at the black concrete box of a structure, wondering if I’m mistaken but sure that I’m not.
Then the bus rolls up and I break into a run, managing to catch it just before it pulls away from the curb. A lucky omen if there ever was one.
The bus lurches onto the street, causing me to teeter and reach for something to regain my footing.
“Watch yourself.” A woman scowls, offended by the sight of my hand clutching the back of her seat. She holds her breath in her cheeks, waiting for me to move on.
I make my way down the aisle, find an empty seat, and rest my gaze outside my window. Preferring to lose myself in the view outside, so I won’t have to think about the disquieting pitch and roll of my belly, or the five-alarm panic going off in my head. The one that screams,What have you done? No, seriously, what the hell have you done? What is your life about to become?
I shake the thought away and steer my focus to the crowds of people, bumping along the downtown sidewalks. All of them so hypnotized by their phones, they routinely bang into one another with barely a notice.
Once we hit the suburbs, it’s a whole other story. Aside from the occasional jogger or dog walker, the sidewalks are mostly unused.
My mom and I live halfway up a hill, in the same house where my dad left us. Inside, it’s like a time capsule; not a single thing has been replaced since the day he walked out. Mainly because we can’t afford any upgrades. Over the years, the roof has begun to leak, electrical sockets no longer work, and in one of the bathrooms it takes an entire bucket of water to get the toilet to flush.
We really should sell and move on, but my mom insists on clinging to the dream of the life she once had. Moving from room to room like a shadow of her former self.
Mine is the next stop, so I pull the cable and make for the door. It’s a few blocks to my house, and when I reach my street, I stop cold. There’re a bunch of delivery trucks lined up outside, along with a team of men taking measurements, assessing the windows, the roof, the rain gutters, the bed of weeds that used to be a lawn.
In the driveway sits a brand-new luxury SUV. The woman standing next to it looks so happy that at first, I don’t even recognize her.
Mom.
“It’s all courtesy of Arthur Blackstone.”
I take in the scene, not at all surprised to find Braxton has followed me.
“New roof, updated bathrooms and kitchen, new appliances, a new car, a generous monthly stipend…and that’s just the beginning.”
My vision blurs. I swipe at my cheeks with the back of my hand. I need to hear it for myself. Need her to look me in the eye when she explains why she chose an easier life over one spent with me.
I’m halfway across the street when Braxton’s voice sounds from behind. “The choice is still yours. You can shred that document and pretend we never met. Your mom won’t receive the monthly stipend, but Arthur will still cover your court costs and see that your record gets expunged. But what then? Do you really want to go back to the lives you both had? Or are you willing to take a chance on something brighter, better, for both of you?”
My chest squeezes too tight, catching and holding my breath like a butterfly caught in a net. I watch my mom run her hand across the molded curves of her shiny new car as though she just can’t believe her good luck. Last time she looked so dreamy was at the end of that sex-worker-in-a-limo movie.
I want her to see me and beg me to stay. But she’s surrounded by so much glimmer and promise, she doesn’t even notice I’m here.
Your life is about to change. Nothing will ever be the same, the tarot reader told me.
Hoping with all my heart that it’s true, I turn my back on the past, and slide inside the Mercedes.
