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Chapter Thirty Nine
December
*****
Nate
Ihad spent the last three days following her from the apartment she shared with Ryder to the campus. Watching her behind sunglasses with my baseball cap pulled low over my face. I felt like I was part of a stalker movie. She would always hesitate before opening the door to my truck. Almost like she was afraid the door handle would catch fire if she dared to enter the driver's seat.
Fighting the urge to walk across the quad and embrace her was one of the hardest things I had to do. She left her class on Tuesday and stood outside the hall for a few minutes talking with two guys before rushing off to her next class. I wondered who they were. She would smile and let out bursts of laughter while conversing, but the moment she turned, the brightness would immediately fade from her face.
She looked beautiful, but exhausted. Just like Ryder had told me, she didn’t look like she had been sleeping much. Knowing Katie, she probably also was taking on twice as many courses as she should. Watching her enter the library, I got back in my rental car. Driving away, I went to a place I knew was going to cause an upheaval of emotions. However, it was time.
As I sat outside of her house, I didn’t know what the best way to approach her was. I feared she wouldn’t take it as well as Miles had. Turning off the car, I made my way up the front walkway. She wasn’t home yet, but I was hopeful she kept the spare key in the same place under the front mat. Lifting the mat, I found it just where it had been for as long as I could remember.
Letting myself in, the reality that I hadn’t been here in months hit me hard. I was sure she hadn’t touched my things, the same as she did when my father passed. Strolling through the house, I stopped to look at each picture frame. Stopping to look at the one she had framed of Katie and me at my graduation, my heart fluttered. I hoped my plan was going to work.
Opening the fridge, I scanned to see what I could whip up and surprise her with. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like she had been shopping very much. Ending up with a box of pasta and a jar of sauce, I decided it was better than nothing. The front door opened, and I waited patiently for my mother to come into the kitchen to drop the mail on the counter and start dinner like she always did. With her nose buried deep in the stack of letters, she appeared in the doorframe.
“Hi mom.”
Freezing in the middle of the room, everything fell from her hands, floating down to the floor in slow motion.
“I made you some dinner.”
I knew it probably sounded stupid, but there wasn’t really a guidebook on how to tell your mom that you aren’t dead, you just had amnesia and forgot her. Her draw dropped open as tears rushed from her eyes.
“You’re…. You’re…”
She trembled as she spoke, taking a single step closer to me, as if I may disappear if she moved too fast. Closing the distance between us, my arms wrapped around her, not wanting to let go. Her body collapsed into mine as she tried to speak again.
“You’re here. You’re really here. Nathan I can’t even. I knew you would come home.”
She sobbed in between each word.
“I’m right here mom and I’m not going anywhere.”
We spent the next two hours in silence. I wanted to tell her everything, but I knew she was in shock and probably wouldn’t remember most of it.
“Mom, I do have to get going.”
Her eyes shot back to me.
“Where? Where could you possibly have to go that’s more important than being here? I already got all your things from your old roommates. Everything you need is here.”
Holding her hands in mine, I couldn’t agree more.
“I need you to do something for me. It’s very important. You can’t tell the Hanover’s that I was here. You can’t tell anyone yet. I have to go back to where I was staying and collect my things. Can you come and pick me up in two days? I wrote it all down. The paper is on the kitchen counter. I know you don’t understand it right now, but you will.”
She nodded as I spoke.
“Don’t worry mom, I’m not disappearing again.”
The hug she gave me when I left was long and hard. She didn’t want to let me go, and I couldn’t blame her. Getting back into my rental car and heading back to the Hastings farm was much harder than I expected. When I pulled into the driveway, Savannah stood on the front steps, her arms folded across her chest.
“Where have you been?”
I had already told her father that I had some things I needed to take care of. Claiming that a doctor wanted to try a new therapy to jog my memory, he didn’t question me and understood that I wouldn’t be able to help around the farm. He was grateful for the help I had been giving lately but knew that there may come a day when I would remember who I was and need to leave.
