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“Hello to you too Savannah. I had some things to do.”
“Daddy is going to be furious that you just disappeared like this.”
I let out a laugh. She was so naïve. Assuming I would up and leave even after everything that her family had done for me. She acted like I was just another disrespectful guy.
“I spoke with your father before I left so that he could plan accordingly for me not being here.”
Stomping her foot, she walked down the front steps to get closer to me.
“You can’t just run off like that with no word. How can you do that to me? To us. Don’t you care about me at all?”
Yawning, I stretched my arms over my head. She was exhausting to be around even in short doses.
“I’ve had a really long day, and I promised your father when I got back I would be up bright and early to help him. I really need to get some rest now.”
It didn’t matter if it pissed her off. There wasn’t a single thing she could do about it. Within a few days, I would be gone. A memory in her mind of the one date we had. The one kiss, which was a mistake. A very grave mistake that could linger on her lips alone because it would never linger on mine. I would do as promised and help her father. I had things that needed to be done that required me to be the man I was born to be and not the one I had made up.
Tucking the letter into the envelope, I wrote her name across the front. I placed her letter on the pillow of my bed. She would come look for me like she did every morning, hoping I would change my mind and kiss her again. A letter to her parents thanking them again for their hospitality and a promise I would repay them once I got back on my feet was left on the kitchen counter.
Sneaking out felt wrong, but I knew she wasn’t going to just let me walk away. Her parents knew I was leaving. I spoke to them late last night. I needed to right the wrongs that had been done. By the time she had read the note, I would be a few hours into the drive down to Asher.
My mother had requested emergency leave, which her boss allowed her three days. The plan was to drive down to Asher, who still didn’t know I was alive. I needed to apologize to him. He needed to know that I was sorry for lying and sorry for hiding what was in my heart. I loved his sister more than I had ever realized, and I really hoped I didn’t fuck everything up. I wasn’t sure how I was even going to deal with it if she didn’t want me back.
I was grateful my mom didn’t get rid of my truck. It was in Katie’s hands, which meant it was being taken care of. The problem was it left me with no vehicle. My mom drove up to the end of the long driveway with her lights off, just as I had requested. Although you couldn’t see the edge of the property from the house, I didn’t want to risk being seen leaving. The sun hadn’t come up yet, but that didn’t mean the Hastings weren’t getting ready for their day. As I climbed into the car, I could tell even in the darkness she had been crying.
“What’s wrong, Mom?”
Wiping her cheek with her hand, she waved me off.
“It’s nothing. Let’s get going so we don’t hit traffic.”
I grabbed her hand, holding it between my own.
“Thank you, mom. I’m sorry about everything. I can’t imagine how scared you were.”
Without moving her eyes off the road, I could see her swallowing down hard. Her fingers tightened around the steering wheel.
“Nate, I lost your father. I felt the most overwhelming sense of loss that anyone could ever feel. When they told me your plane was missing, I never lost hope you were coming back home. We did everything we could to locate you, but I should have known that you would be like your father and do things in your own time. You don’t know how much it means to me to have you back right now. I promise you that Asher is going to welcome you back with open arms.”
A wave of regret washed over me. I had made mother suffer even a moment longer than she needed to.
“I’m sorry, mom but I hope you’re right. You didn’t see how mad he was when he found out that I was seeing Katie. He’s never been that mad before.”
She patted my hand.
“And I’ve never seen Katie or Asher as heartbroken as they’ve been. Everyone has tried to hide it around me, the same way they did when your father passed. I see it, the way they breathe and the way they watch how they speak.”
Watching the sun slowly come up over the horizon, we were planning to take turns driving in to get there as quickly as possible. We made it halfway there before my mother started asking questions. I had expected her to ask earlier and was a little surprised she held back for so long.
There was a sizable scar across my left temple where my head collided with the instrument panel. The scars she couldn’t see were much worse. A long-jagged line now lived across my ribs. My upper thigh, where a shard of metal had lodged itself, left a glaring reminder of what I had been through.
I hadn’t even noticed it when I was walking. My leg had been in so much pain as I limped down the road, I assumed it was all from my ankle. When the doctor showed me the debris they took out, I nearly passed out.
I wasn’t sure if my mother knew that Katie and I had a fight right before I left. There was no doubt in my mind that both Asher and Katie had neglected to reveal the punches I had received, being that everyone would have immediately blamed them for me being up on the plane.
My mind was so screwed up after Katie walked out of my room, all I could see was despair. Her absence made me see I had screwed up and what I was losing. Nothing else would enter my mind. I only wanted to clear my mind. The intention wasn’t to stay up for long. I just started flying and for a moment I thought about not turning around.
The problem I ran into was that by the time I realized how ludicrous of an idea it was to just leave my life behind, I started running into problems much bigger than I was prepared to handle. Before I knew it, my plane was heading toward the trees, and I just assumed that everyone would be better off without me. That was something that I wouldn’t ever burden anyone else with. It was my cross to bear.
