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Chapter Eleven
December
*****
Katie
Being back in my old room felt so strange after a few months away. My mother hadn’t touched a single thing, which made me feel like I was moving back into the past again. My first few months of college were just as challenging as I had expected and prepared for. Luckily, my roommate, Ryder, was just as focused on her studies as I was. I never had to worry about her coming and going at all hours from parties.
Ryder was the opposite of Maddie. She was here on a full scholarship and wasn’t about to risk losing it by being distracted by anything. Her taste in clothing differed from my own. She dressed modestly and watching her go to the co-ed bathrooms made me not feel so insecure. At least I knew someone else was just as nervous about every trip there as I was.
She was going back home to spend the holidays with her parents and six siblings. We often spent any free time we had between studying and writing papers talking about our crazy families. It wasn’t like me to be so open with a stranger, but there was something about her that just made me feel so comfortable. We instantly bonded the same way I had with Maddie.
The night that we confessed about our past relationships was probably my favorite memory with her. I told her about Nate and our kiss. She hadn’t dated anyone before, so she wasn’t a wealth of information or help. She still listened and let me sort things out, interjecting when she could. Ryder was so nervous to tell me she had always been single but once she realized I wasn’t going to judge her we were like two peas in a pod.
Pulling on a pair of old jeans from my closet, I leafed through the shirts I had left behind. All of them seemed so juvenile. Seeing a plain red scoop neck with long sleeves seemed good enough, festive even for the holiday season. It should keep me warm enough since I would not be outside for long.
Grabbing a headband off my desk, I pushed it onto my head to keep my hair out of my face. It had been a while since I had applied any makeup, but I thought today was as good a day as any to get a little dressed up.
Maddie was finally going to be in the same place as me after three long months. I couldn’t imagine how people did long-distance relationships if a friendship was this hard on us. I brushed my cheekbone with some light blush and looked back at my reflection. That should be just fine. I didn’t need to go overboard with it.
The bag on my shoulder slipped down as I made my way out of the house. Asher and Nate came into view just as I open the front door to leave. Just great, the two people I was hoping to avoid when I came back.
“You need to lay off all that Texas food, man. It’s definitely slowing you down.”
Asher trudged up the walkway behind Nate, who jogged around in a circle around him, still full of energy even after their run. Pulling his black beanie off, his hair looked like what I assumed his bedhead would look like. There were visible sweat stains down the back of his hoodie and his grey sweatpants hugged him in all the right places. As they made their way back up to the house, I closed the door behind me, leaving it unlocked.
“Where are you off to?”
Asher was out of breath as he walked past me.
“None of your business.”
Pushing the door open, I heard him mumble something under his breath.
“Good morning, Katie.”
Nate flashed a smile as he slowed his pace past me.
I hadn’t heard from Nate in nearly three months. He kissed me and left without a trace. Now he was going to just show up and expect to act like nothing had happened. He was the worst kind of asshole I had ever met. I hadn’t even told Maddie what had happened. After the kiss, we went back to my house and pretended like nothing had happened.
I thought things were going to change. Instead, I woke up the next day and Asher told us how much it sucked that Nate had to leave early for school. He needed time to get set up in his new apartment off campus. I checked my phone several times and resisted the urge for two days to text him. Finally, day three, I finally sent him a text asking to talk that I didn’t like how we left things. He never responded. It was one thing for him to be a jerk for all those years, but to tell me it wasn’t all in my head and kiss me like that and disappear. That I couldn’t forgive. He was dead to me.
I left for college and threw myself into my studies like I had planned. It would be a lie to say I never thought about him, but when I did, I just worked that much harder on my schoolwork to push the idea of him out.
Checking on the flights four times before I left, it looked like everything was running on time or close to it. I debated if I should tell Maddie what had happened at the end of the summer with Nate or not. At the time, we were both so upset about our departure that I didn’t want to make her worry that I would not be okay alone.
I also didn’t need her to tell me to get under someone to get over someone else. That just wasn’t a mantra I needed or wanted to follow.
Things were going to be weird between Nate and me, especially if he planned to act like nothing happened again. I had time to decide. It wasn’t like I needed to bombard her with my nonsense right away. She was probably having the time of her life out in New York. I couldn’t wait to hear all about her life face to face. The phone calls just weren’t the same. The first thing I had planned for today was running to the store to pick up a poster board. It only seemed proper to make her a huge welcome home sign.
I made it halfway to the store before I remembered I had left my wallet at home. Turning the car around, I headed back home, aggravated at myself for the waste of time this was causing. Not to mention the fact that I would probably have to see him again, which I was not looking forward to.
*****
Nate
She barely smiled as she walked past me, never mind saying hello back. I couldn’t blame her. It had been one hundred and twenty-two days since we had talked to each other, much less seen one another.
