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Chapter Thirty
*****
Katie
Turning 19 was nothing special yet, I was dreading my birthday was next week. It would just be another year, another celebration that I wished I didn’t have to attend. It had been two days since I’d talked to Nate despite his texting me every morning and night, hoping to get me to talk.
Yes, I realized how immature I was being ignoring him. Nate had been so busy working lately I knew that he wouldn’t dare drive down here to talk to me. The selfish part was I almost wanted him to make the effort. To prove me wrong that he cared about me enough to do it. Of course, that sent my stomach into knots thinking about how stupid I was being. Since he had helped me move out of my dorm we hadn’t spent as much time together as I expected. We rarely saw each other and talking was typically a quick hi how was your day, before one of us had to go. Deep in my gut, I could feel him pulling away from us being anything more than just a few good times together.
I had agreed to just see what happened, not try to define us as anything. He was working full time, and we both had school. The limbo I found myself in with him sucked. I one hundred percent regretted not asking for clarification on what we were.
The way I missed him was something fierce. A feeling deep in my core that felt as though something was missing without him around. The feeling of his touch still lingered on my skin. Often, I woke up in a cold sweat, having nightmares of Brandon coming back to finish what he wanted to do with me. Those nights, I wished I could be in Nate’s arms again to feel safe.
I knew that until he told my brother what was going on with us, that wasn’t possible. My parents would have never approved of me going and staying the night at his place either, so that was out of the question too. Instead, I was stuck wishing for things I couldn’t have.
He had moved into a more permanent apartment with his roommate, Nolan and someone named Sam. I had never met either, but from what Nate told me the first few days after they were all together, living with Sam would be hell. They were complete opposites and butting heads every day.
On Friday, I had called him, hoping we could talk. I wanted to hear his voice. Even if it was for two seconds to tell me about his day, that was all I was craving. What I hadn’t expected was some girl to pick up and ask me what I needed from him. I didn’t know if she was with Nolan or if she was one of Nate’s friends. Her touching his phone got under my skin more than I should have let it. Deep down, I knew the mature thing to do was talk to him about it, but my jealousy got the best of me. Go figure, an eighteen-year-old thinking with her heart and not her head.
Nate had two roommates. It could very well have been one of their girlfriends, or they could have had a bunch of people over. It was a Friday night. Nate had a reputation that I knew all too well. The little voice of doubt in my mind wiggled its way in, reminding me he could be messing around with her. The immature part of my brain made it a struggle to accept the truth when he said he only wanted me.
Finally, I picked up my phone to be a mature adult and set my feelings aside. We weren’t an exclusive couple. He was free to do what he wanted. I needed to remind myself of that.
Katie: my mom wants to know if you’re still coming this weekend
It only took about ten seconds before my phone buzzed.
Nate: Of course I’m coming. You seriously think I’d miss it?
Katie: Asher’s bringing Bridget so she said it’s fine if you want to bring someone or whatever. Like if you had a girlfriend.
Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I watched the three little dots moving as I waited for the message to come through.
Nate: ??
Nate: pretty sure my girlfriend is the one we’re celebrating.
My eyes grew wide as I re-read the message he just sent. My stomach flipped on itself; this was the first time he’d referred to me as anything, never mind something defining me ashis girlfriend.
Katie: What about the girl who answered your phone the other day?
Katie: You don’t have to lie. I’m not stupid. If you’re with someone else, it’s fine.
It wasn’t fine. My insides felt like they were trying to eat themselves alive with all their twisting and turning. My phone began buzzing as an incoming call flashed on my screen. Clicking the button and bringing it to my ear, his words came out fast before I could even open my mouth.
“Okay, before you say anything else, I can explain. That was Sam, my pain in the ass roommate. She thought it was her phone. She’s one hundred percent not my girlfriend, we’re barely friends, she’s Nolan’s little sister.”
Before I meant to, my words cut him off.
“Well, we both know you have a thing for your friends’ sisters so…”
I hadn’t meant to come off so snarky, but it was a valid point.
“Really Katie? It’s not like that and you know it.”
Trying my best to keep my voice low so my parents couldn’t hear me, I was seething.
“How would I know that? You never call or see me. How am I supposed to know you’re not over there having girls over every night? I’ve seen you twice in the last month. If that's how you treat your girlfriends, I’d rather go back to being nothing to you. At least then I saw you every so often. Plus, you lying to me doesn’t help me trust you now, does it?”
