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“No need,” I replied, stepping around Roberts with one last glare. “I’ll do it. It’s good for me.”
* * *
On the way home from work, Paul entertained me with stories from his weekend with his dad. We carpooled to work and took turns driving, and today was his turn. So I sat back with my eyes closed and listened to him talk, trying not to think about how crappy my day was.
“Are you okay, dude?” Paul asked.
I put my head up and looked at him, noting the concern in his eyes. “Yeah, why?”
“You’re just quiet. Not your happy-go-lucky self.”
I laughed. Some people turn into jerks when they come from a rough past, and others avoid it with humor. I was the latter, and Paul knew it. And I think our friendship early on had caused it. Hanging out with Paul and his family was my safe space to relax and pretend like I wasn’t going home to a ticking time bomb and the woman who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) protect me if it blew up.
“Rough day,” I replied.
“Bummer. What happened?”
Unwilling to go into it all, I rubbed a hand over my head and sighed. “Just Roberts being a pain. I can’t stand that guy. He’s hazing Chase for some reason.”
“Yeah, he seems like a tool.”
Paul was in a different squadron than me and worked in the hangar next to mine, but it was a small base and a small Marine Corps, so he knew who I was talking about. “Be glad you don’t have to deal with him on the daily like I do. I’m so annoyed I have to go on deployment with him soon. Working with him five days a week sucks enough as it is, but seven? Ugh.”
“Well, you know the Marine Corps. Nothing’s permanent. I’m sure he’ll get transferred soon and then you won’t have to worry about it.”
I nodded, remembering that was what happened with the last guy I worked with that I hated. And just in time, too. We were drill instructors together in San Diego. He’d picked a fight with one of the DIs I hung out with—Spencer Hawkins—and we’d come close to getting into a brawl right in the middle of the squad bay one night. Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed thanks to how serious it would have been if we’d thrown down. We were all lifers and didn’t need any black marks on our records.
“Here’s hoping,” I said with a sharp nod. “I’m not sure how long he’s been here, but maybe I’ll get lucky and his three years will be up soon.”
“I still can’t believe we haven’t been back for a whole year yet. Coming home has made me feel like we never left.”
Shifting in my seat, I nodded. “Yeah, I guess.”
“That reminds me, are you gonna move closer to base when Shelby and I get a place after the wedding? If not, we can still carpool. We’ll just pick each other up on the way.”
“I haven’t really thought about it. I can make rent on my own, though. So maybe not. I hate moving, and we move enough as it is.”
“Man, who likes it? I’m gonna move into a place with Shelby, and then we’ll have to pack it up again in two years to change duty stations. Not looking forward to that. But Shelby’s actually excited to get out of Bluffton and see other parts of the country. She’s hoping I can get stationed in Hawaii again so she can live there.”
Since he was the type to want to settle down, Paul was lucky that Shelby was willing to pick up her whole life and move wherever the Marine Corps sent him. Her career was flexible since she was a dance teacher and choreographer and could do that anywhere. I, on the other hand, was happy being a lone wolf. Moving from place to place without having to worry about someone who cared to stay in Bluffton was ideal. Especially not someone like Aria, who had a business she loved and the perfect cottage on its grounds.
Pushing away that pointless line of thought, I forced a chuckle. “I think you used up your one chance to pick your next duty station with Bluffton. You’re not coming off a hard duty like recruiting, so they’ll probably put you wherever they need you.”
“Fine with me. I got Shelby out of this deal. I don’t really care where they send us next as long as we’re together.”
I put on a sickly sweet expression and rested my chin on my open palm. “Aw, aren’t you precious?”
“Shut up,” he retorted, elbowing my arm where it rested on the center console. “You think I’m the one missing out by getting serious with a woman, but I think it’s you. Trust me, after a rough day, it’s good to know someone has my back.”
“Hey, I have your back.”
“It’s not the same.” He smirked at the fake sadness on my face. “And you’d know that if you actually tried to commit to someone instead of sticking with only first dates.”
Once again, I was shocked that he didn’t get it. Shouldn’t it be obvious that I wouldn’t want to put myself in a situation where I could end up like my dad? Sure, he hadn’t always been an abusive alcoholic. But then his career fell apart, and he took to the bottle, and a monster replaced the man who’d been raising me up until that point. I barely remembered that dude. My memories consisted of a violent shell of a person who couldn’t hold his liquor.
And that was the problem. Everyone had loved my dad when he was a hotshot lawyer with a nice suburban house, a wife, and a baby. He’d been on top of his world. But then he’d gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd through one of his clients, and he’d gotten disbarred. When he lost his career, he also lost his mind. So maybe I was a good guy now. But I had my life in order. What would I turn into if something went wrong? I didn’t plan to find out. I had that monster’s blood running through my veins, so having my own wife and kid was the last thing I planned to do.
A loud ring sounded over the car’s speakers, signaling that Paul was getting a call over Bluetooth. My eyes flicked to the screen. A large photo of Aria appeared, taken from when we were kids. She held a huge teddy bear in her arms, and I was instantly transported to that day, unable to hide the smile that worked its way onto my lips. Paul and I had spent an hour trying to win her that freaking bear. She wouldn’t stop pestering us about how she absolutely, positively,neededit and how she’d die without it.
